Reflections

A co-worker of mine says that if you look at the 5 people you spend the most time with, then their attitude generally reflects yours. If they are negative, then guess what? So... taking inventory. Person #1 (in order of importance to me, of course), NOT negative. Person #2, NOT negative. Person #3, NOT negative. Persons #4 & #5, extremely negative. Ok, now in realistic terms of who I am around the most. Guess what? 4 & 5. Not out of choice, but because of the placement in my life. I'm working on that.

I have a mantra for today. It is this: "For today, let me be a positive force for those around me."

And that reminds me of the Reiki creed.

Just for today
I will give thanks
for my many blessings

Just for today
I will be happy and look at the positive

Just for today
I will be worry-free and deal with anger appropriately

Just for today
I will do my work honestly

Just for today
I will be kind
to my neighbor
and every Living thing

Hm... not much more I can add to that really....

The Stairway

I went camping last weekend at the Oregon Coast. This stairway led down to our walk-in campsite. It was breathtakingly beautiful where we were. But the most amazing thing is that we spent two solid days with no cell service. No tv. No radio. Just us and nature.

This stairway symbolizes my life right now. All I have to do is take the initiative and climb up. Amazing things are waiting for me at the top. If I climb these steps, I will be that much closer to happiness, to fulfillment, to all that is already mine.

43 things helps me to work on goals. Each one is a step in my life. But there are so many more. Today my first step is waking with a positive attitude, ready to face any challenges head-0n. And let me tell you, I am ready.

These steps are not mine alone. They are for anyone who would like to get to the top. To see what awaits them. Wanna join me?

Bitching according to Hoyle

I entered the work force early, delivering newspapers to an old lady at a bar when I was in grade school. I got paid in moon pies :-). Then when I was 15, I filed papers in an office and 16-18 I worked in fast food. Then I moved, and it was more fast food and a group home for developmentally delayed adults.

Then I was a stay at home mom for 6 years.

Following that, I worked in an assisted living for about 3 1/2 years. What a difference those 6 years made. At the assisted living, I had a boss named Jim, and he had an assistant named Jackie. Jim taught me that if you are going to a boss with a complaint, then have a plan of action in mind as well to fix it. So.... I would go to J&J office and state my intention. They were:

• I came with a problem, and here's a solution.
• I am just coming in to vent and get it off of my chest. No action required.
• I have a problem but don't really have any solutions, help me brainstorm.

I have used this in every single job that I have had since. And it did not stop there... I apply it to most every type of interaction in my life.

In fact... it touches a lot of things for me. For instance, today I was going to type up a blog post titled "I wish..." but it really just seemed well... whiny. "I wish I had more time..." "I wish that I had more self confidence" yadda, yadda, yadda. I do wish those things, and a lot of other things as well. But, I would much rather come up with solutions than just sitting and wishing.

I recently discovered http://www.43things.com/ I have been very busy over there listing things that I would like to do. And then I post the steps I'm taking to accomplish things. It keeps my motivation up. You can find me at 43 things under the name 'renigma'.

Today I posted a list of some of the blogs I follow. Please check them out. Enjoy!

I can only do what I can do. This is my mantra for today.

I am a hard worker. I work many hours a week. I keep up with dishes and laundry at home. If the floor does not get vacuumed today, that's ok.

I can do what I can do.

I can dig my novel out and prepare to write more. But today perhaps I will just dig it out.

I can get my oil paints set up, pour my paint thinner, and prepare my canvas. But today perhaps I will just prepare my painting area.

I can research reiki institutes, to work towards my goal of being certified. But today, I will just do a preliminary search.

I can journal about my goals, my hopes, my dreams. I can make a concrete plan to reach those goals. But today, I will write.

I can get my poetry ready to submit for publication. But today, I will type some in so that I can format them.

I can only do what I can do. And if I don't get it done today, then tomorrow I can do what I can do.

Going through the motions

So...I realized that in many areas of my life I have been just going through the motions. I just keep the status quo regardless of my personal feelings. And it's time to make changes! Some won't be done this year... but I can start now. I can tell you that this is scary. Some people will rejoice with me, some will cry with me, some will fight against me. But ultimately, while protecting others as much as possible, it's my happiness that I am most concerned about right now.

And even as I type that, I feel so selfish. And it does not seem right. So... I'm at a crossroads. I can't be the best me without fundamental changes...

Utah

Like I said, I had a wonderful time in Utah.

My dad taught me how to make his sloppy joes, and his amazing pancakes.

We also went to a baseball game in which 2 of my nephews were playing, spent time with my step sister, and stayed at my brother's house.

We really bonded with my 16 year old niece.

We rode on a rock crawler.

We went to a demolition derby.

The only drawback was that one of my brothers had to work 12 hour shifts the whole time, so we had very little time with him.

Lots of really great family time and no drama. What a wonderful weekend!

Left wondering

I had a wonderful time in Utah this past weekend... totally amazing, and more on that later.

In the meantime, I'm left wondering what to do when there is an emptiness that you feel. I will be ok, and I will move on. I don't really want to dwell on it because I am afraid the emptiness will grow. But I feel like I need to do something...