Busy

Today we went for a hike and on a picture taking trip. I took close to 400 photos. I had such a beautiful, exciting day. And this weekend I made 2 journals. Several photos and both journals have found their way to my etsy shop already! I feel so productive!

I hope that all of you had amazing weekends as well.

I sit here this morning, blank. I have a touch of the flu and am pretty blah.

I have some fabulous ideas for journals, and hopefully this weekend will include making them. I also checked out my latest photos I took and I was pretty pleased with what I saw.

I got a call from my sister-in-law last night. My dad has another blockage and has to go back in for surgery... probably another stint. So I called my dad and he seemed a little anxious. He said they will keep me posted.

Anyway... nothing really to say today. I hope everyone has a fabulous Friday.

Thoughts

Yesterday I wrote about my pain. My pain is very distracting... at all times but first thing in the morning. In the morning I can think, write, create, I can blog! I do believe that I'm on the right path and will find some answers soon to get rid of this pain. In the meantime, I trudge along.

Last night, I received an email from someone wanting to buy a photo. Not even one listed for sale on Etsy. I did a happy dance, let me tell you! I made my first photo sale! And the buyer connected me through my blog. How happy is that?? I immediately twittered, then texted everyone I know to share my joy.

Today feels like a new day... a new era. Things are shifting, and it's time. It's time to bloom and flourish. It's time to be open to possibilities. Time to spread our wings. I can feel it. Can you? I am so excited.

What's going on with me

About a year and a half ago, I went to my primary care physician for allergies. She did a basic exam on me and found an enlargement in my thyroid. This is how it all began. I had an ultrasound, and was found to have a multi-nodular goiter. Thyroid function is normal, so it was not alarming to me or my doctor.

Fast forward to a couple of months ago. New insurance, new doctor, and they wanted to test everything, so I went in for a complete blood panel. Still, thyroid function is normal. All bloodwork looked fine. But, a referral to an endocrinologist was ordered.

So, October 7, I went to the endocrinologist. He suggested a fine needle biopsy. He stuck 4 needles into the lumps, and told me that there might be some soreness for up to a week. That's when the problems began. I was tough through the biopsy. Nothing to numb my throat, but I made it through.

I cannot begin to describe the pain and discomfort I have felt since that biopsy. There was bruising, and that went away. But after the bruising, came a constant 'lump in my throat' feeling. And an ache that is with me constantly. Many days it's so uncomfortable that I'm in tears.

And here's where the weirdness comes in. A side effect has been difficulty with expressing myself. I've had reiki done on my throat chakra. Still, it is with me constantly. A heaviness and pain in my throat. And at most times, the tears are just around the corner. I'm not a crier, though, so I fight that off. I do not like feeling vulnerable. I do not like weakness... in my self, anyway.

Oh, the endocrinologist sent me an email saying he did not get enough cells to test, but he was not going to worry about it, and he will check it again in 3 months. That was fine, until all the pain. So, I'm going back to see him next Monday. And at times, I think it's all in my head. But, the pain is somewhat dulled with Excedrin... I only take that about every 3rd day though, I don't like taking stuff for pain.

There is a possible thyroidectomy in my future... or perhaps some psychotherapy is in order??? I'm at a loss here. I don't feel like I am myself. And sometimes, I wonder if I will ever return to feeling like myself.

The Winner!!

I almost forgot! Thanks to all of you who critiqued my photos! And thanks to all of you who visit my blog! The winner of the drawing is Geoff. So, Geoff, let me know whether you'd like the 8X10 print of "The Wise Tree" or a journal.

I think I will have another giveaway... I just need to concoct a reason for it!!

Life... and my vision board

As most of you know, I'm doing the 100 day Co-Creating your reality challenge. One of the tools I chose to use was a vision board. I went to the craft store and bought a poster size foam-core board and cut up tons of magazines. I have pictures on there that depict most of the things I want in life... from a home to furnishings, to pictures that (to me) show organization, exercise, relaxation, etc.

My vision board has been added to over the past weeks. And I keep it on an easel, so I can see it all throughout my day. And yes, having a visual does help. I'm that much closer to attaining the things I want. And getting rid of things I don't.

It is not all-inclusive, though... I tried to cover my bases and put pictures on there for everything. But I had not planned to do an etsy shop, so it's not on there. I also had not planned to walk through my home and start to get rid of clutter. I took DVD's to my work and sold a bunch, am taking VHS tapes. We never watch them, but in the recent past have packed them into boxes and moved them from home to home 3 times. When we do move, we are setting up room by room, and I'm a minimalist more and more, so all the decor that we do not use is going bye-bye. It feels good.

My etsy shop can be found at www.robynsart.etsy.com and so far I have a couple of photos and my journals on there. I am expanding my selection real soon. I'm thinking about adding some milk bath for the holidays, and possibly some microwave neckwarmer things that I make. If you've been to my shop, thank you! If you've not visited yet, I urge you to check it out. And either way, check back to see what I'm up to next.

Part of this journey feels like a roller coaster ride. I have no idea what's around the next corner, but it's sure to be thrilling, and I'm ready!

Living the Dream

That's a catch phrase at my work... when one person asks another what they've been up to, many times they say "living the dream." But it's a pat answer that really means nothing to them.

Each moment I am closer to living my dream. Sometimes it feels so far away, but I know the baby steps I'm making. I know the blood, sweat, and tears that have gone into those steps, no matter how small they may seem. My toil is a reward in itself.

When I was younger, my dreams relied on others... I wanted what they wanted-- both for me and for themselves. I allowed myself to think their chosen dreams/goals were mine... no wonder I could not muster up any enthusiasm!! Now that I'm older, I have my own dreams. They do not rely on anyone else to become reality. And, I've realized that my dreams coming to fruition do not cancel out anyone elses dreams. In fact, the closer I get to attaining my dreams, the more I should be able to enrich the lives of those around me.

Dreams are an amazing thing. Once we have them, no-one should be able to take them away. And my belief is the more we focus on them, the more we are drawn to those who are like-minded.

I will go softly into this day... with my dreams in my heart, and success on my mind.