Flow

After a whole lot of deliberation, my word for 2011 is FLOW. In 2010, I had a whole lot of speed bumps. And despite the speed bumps, I showed my photography at 3 local venues, entered several photography contests, developed an online Artist Empowerment Class and taught it twice. I also began on a path that was shown to me throughout this year.

There will be a lot of changes coming soon. One being switching this blog over to wordpress. I will make sure there are plenty of ways for you to find me though, and I do hope you'll stick with me through it!

What is your word for 2011? What changes do you have planned?

Seeking Clarity

As 2010 starts winding down, I'm led to take inventory. I do this periodically throughout the year. Often in the Spring, always in the Fall, and at New Year's. I look back to see where I've been, and I look forward to see where I need to be. Then the planning begins. I do a lot of planning.

Sunday, I had a 12 hour road trip. That is a LOT of thinking time. And I recalled an episode of the Big Bang Theory in which the boys created a liquid that also acted as a solid. It was simply cornstarch and water. But it flowed. And when it wasn't flowing, it was solid. And I realized that I need to be *that*. I need to be solid. But I need to readily flow.

So... with flow in mind... I'm questioning the path I've set into motion. I'm wondering now if I've been true to myself. I think I have... but I'm wondering if I've allowed for the flow...

This week, because of my inventory taking, I believe, it will all become clear.

My Mental Health Day

Yesterday I took the day off of work. I slept in. I thoroughly enjoyed a lazy cup of coffee. I made the sweet journal pictured above. I went out for lunch, I did a lot of thinking. And I made some decisions.

I decided that even though it has been 3 months today since Dad's death, that I needed to stop standing in my own way. I need to stop worrying about "I should be over this by now" and let it flow. I lost a Dad and a friend rolled into one. Of course I will continue to grieve. I will stop punishing myself for doing so.

The time will come when I have all the good memories and very little of the stinging pain. And when that day comes, I will welcome it with open arms. But for now, I will allow myself to feel the grief, it is absolutely OK to be sad and to miss a wonderful man.

My talk to myself would have been altogether different had my grief been holding me back from being productive, but remember how I was going to fake it til I make it? That is serving me well. I know enough to trudge through the day to day, and even to strive to do more.

So... grieving continues, and that is alright. Tears may come and that's ok too. The other day someone said a joke that sounded just like Dad's jokes and I laughed and laughed. That was a good feeling. It *will* happen again... maybe not today, but it will happen.

Getting Organized, Everything in it's place

My space that I live in is small. Thankfully, it's an apartment, so it's cheap, and it's temporary. But it's small. I've taken over one section of the living room and one couch with my papers, my paper cutter, my cutting mat, my finished journals, my packaging supplies. Yesterday, a table was moved in for me and put over the coffee table. Strangely enough, it works.

So all my supplies are nicely arranged on the table, with finished journals in a box, and packaging supplies on the coffee table. It's a really nice feeling to have it all organized and I feel that all of a sudden even my brain is less cluttered!

I have my projects in progress in one section, so I can see what I need to finish. By the end of the day tomorrow, I should have several journals ready to list! Including one new design that was a special order! If it works the way I envision, I'll be making more to list!

It's amazing how change can stimulate action. Thankfully this is change for the better. I've had a rough week, and getting my supplies organized really helped me to come up out of the rut. This organization has been a long time coming. A really long time. And since I didn't even have to move a table, it was so easy!!

I stated the other day, in the Etsy forum, that my dream is to make my business flow.... from the conception of the idea, all the way through to packaging. To make it easier on me to be able to create, and run my business, and not freak out when I have a dozen sales to ship out. (It could happen!!! Actually, two days ago, I had 5 items ordered in one day!) And now it's coming to fruition.

Sometimes, life is good. Sometimes even when it's not, something small can happen to make it all worthwhile.