Propelled Forward

I have been thinking a lot about life lately, and my true North has presented itself to me. Initially I thought that I couldn't share it with anyone in my life for fear of being laughed at. But now I've told some people and they feel my sincerity. I feel myself being propelled forward. I am moving in baby steps, but I am going forward.

I have been filled to the brim with an excited energy for awhile now. My mind is always going, with a million thoughts. The best ones are the excitement on working towards my goals and my gratitude for all that life has to offer.

I sincerely hope that each of you is feeling the same sort of excitement in some area of your life.

True North

I spent a lot of time this weekend pondering my true North. Thinking about what it is that I want to be. No, that's not right. I spent a lot of time this weekend having things strike me in the head to get my attention. I now know beyond a shadow of a dowbt what my calling is. I absolutely know the direction I'm headed. Everything is not absolutely defined, but I am so much closer.

I revere so many creative women. I watch the progress... see how they take each step so sure of their selves. I often wonder "how did they get here?" and now I'm seeing that in my own life. Amazing!

I've written before about how Fall is a time for renewal for me. I take cues from nature, and I see the leaves falling, I see the trees standing before me, naked, and perfect. It is a magical time of year for me. Looking back, I often start some amazing journeys during this time of year. And so it is this year as well... working towards my true North, and beginning The Artist's Way again.

I believe I'll be starting next week, and from that point, the next 12 weeks (or more, depending on how the holidays extend it) will be a wild ride. I am already buckling in and getting ready...

I haven't Arrived

I have not arrived. Please don't put a mint on my pillow or turn down my bedding... I'm not ready for that. But I have checked for flights, and I do have a better idea of the direction I should be heading.

I am getting closer to my true north. Closer to buying the ticket and settling on my destination.

I am getting there. I will share so much more with you soon!

A little more than Six Months...

A little more than 6 months ago, I received a call from my brother that said "I'm sorry, but he didn't make it." I traveled to Price, Utah to help my family plan and make it through his funeral. I rode in a car in a funeral procession that was over a mile long, led by his two remaining biker buddies. A little more than 6 months ago, we laid a great man to rest.

Since that time, I have begun selling leather journals, I've become the art journal making sponsor for Connie's Art Journal Love Letter's Class. I have left a very wrong marriage behind. I have begun writing my novel again (that I had stored away for over 10 years). I have taught one Artist Empowerment Class, and am moving towards another. I have moved so much closer to living my authentic life. 6 months ago, I was so far away from authenticity that I couldn't even tell where it resided. Today, it lives with me, and we are having a great relationship.

It's amazing what can happen in six months time. My life bears no resemblance to the life of 6-8 months ago. And I'm so thankful. I know that as I move forward (sometimes like the speed of light) that Dad is proud of me. And I know that if my life could change so drastically in one six month period, then the world better watch out for my next six months!

Oh the Pressure!

By a show of hands, how many of you knew what you wanted to do with your life right out of high school? How many of you stayed on that very path? Not me. I'm 38 and just within the last few years have found my true North.

How many of you found your way at 30? 40? 50 even? So many of us, I assume.

But why the pressure on our 18 year olds to have it all figured out? Why do we tell them they need to get their diploma and immediately head in the direction that will determine the rest of their life?

I'm dealing with this right now. My 18 year old son graduated. He's brilliant. He is one of the smartest and most seeking people I know. But he has no direction. I have some ideas for him, to dip his toes in the water, and he is willing. However, his father wants what he wants for him. And that's the only path he is willing to consider. Forget the fact that this child is being told that at 18 you are an adult and you have to make your own choices. Forget the fact that his father still at 40 has not found his path.

I can help. I can guide. I can hope to teach him through life experience what he wants and doesn't want. And to do that I may have to beat my head against a brick wall or two.

This 'finding yourself' at 18 is resting heavy on my heart. Apparently, finding yourself means joining the military. Or immediately jumping into a career. To me, however, finding yourself could equally be to travel, to work dead end jobs for a year and raise the money to backpack through Europe. Or sign up for a temp agency to gain a little job experience and "try on" different vocations. Or seek out your OWN true North, with the understanding that it could take awhile.

Time spent finding this path is never wasted, in my mind.

Struggles

Last night I was feeling blah. I was feeling discouraged. And I let myself feel this way. I wallowed for a short time, then I decided I needed a plan. So, I began to formulate a plan. And then I tossed and turned last night worrying about more stuff that I hadn't yet dealt with.

So, one of my plans will go into effect soon. I'm thinking a referral journal giveaway, but I haven't worked out all the details yet. Basically, I know that people who have bought my journals love them. And if you refer someone to me and they buy a journal, you'll be entered for a giveaway. But like I said, I'm working on the details.

The other stuff, I'll be tackling today.

Part of it is struggling with this authentic me. I know that writing helps to bring me to my true North. Writing is the art that has always saved me. And I'm working on that. I'm working on making the time. It's hard with 3 teenage boys who are talkative and funny and active. But I just need to make that time.

Another part is photography, and honestly I don't feel it right now. What I feel is a tinge of guilt but I don't feel inspired to do it. I do know that I will return to it. I will enjoy life through the viewfinder at some point.

So what are your struggles today?

Notes from my Journey

I have a friend who is going through a very tough time, in so many areas of his life. He's been leaning on me for a bit of support. It's a new thing with him... but then, he wasn't having tough times before. I am listening, and talking with him... offering whatever advice I may have, and I am not owning his issues! I have not taken any of it on. THAT also is a first! I have always gotten bogged down by the pains in other's lives. I've owned their problems, causing me great stress, and often physical issues.

I have experienced so many turning points in my life recently. Not getting sucked into family drama, not owning friends' pain, moving forward with my life both physically and emotionally. Life is amazing.

I feel closer than I have ever been before on realizing my True North. I am almost there... I can see it. And soon, I will be sharing all that glorious-ness with you!

By the way... we have about 35 shopping days til Christmas! And only a week until Thanksgiving. I have much to be thankful for! Please share with me some things you are thankful for on your journey...