Feeling better

I woke up this morning feeling so much better. I can't say for sure that the illness I've had is gone... but it feels like it is! So, I have a renewed energy, and can focus on some of my goals. This weekend should be busy and amazing.

I have been completely not myself lately. Wanting to accomplish things, but being physically unable. Now, once more, I can hit the ground running. But yes, I will be sure to do some excellent self care as well. I don't want to find myself in that same position of overworked, overstressed illness again.

The class is going amazingly well. We've all gotten to know each other a bit, we've had our first chat (which I made a bit rockier than needed to be), and we're off! I can tell already it's an amazing group, and I am so thankful for each and every one of them.

This weekend will be about growing my new business. Talking with people, sharing a bit. And bettering lives...

Journal and Illness

Another coptic stitch journal I created. This one will be listed in my shop soon. I have had a terrible head cold now for about 5 days. Low grade fever, stuffy nose, complete lack of energy/ambition.

Today I will stay home, treat the fever (which is higher today) with herbs and medication, hot baths, and naps. I will be back full force soon.

Working on a New Idea

Yesterday I did end up calling in, and I slept for 8 hours. I must have really needed the rest! I got up for a few hours (after 2pm), then went to bed at my normal time. Not sure I'm back to 100%, but it's Thursday, so only today and tomorrow left for the work week.

Now... to my idea :-). I'm working on a 'friendship journal' idea. I've really been inspired by some amazing online friends. I've connected with a few, and came up with this idea. Let me try to explain it. In my handbound journals, there are 6 signatures. A signature is a group of papers, that's folded and sewn on the spine. So... I am going to make 3 blank cover journals. I'll mail 2 to friends. Once they're received, we'll all proceed to fill 2 signatures with our thoughts, drawings, ramblings, collage, etc. Then we'll mail them to the next person. And we'll repeat. At the end, they'll get mailed again, this time back to us, so that everyone sees what everyone did in all of them. And we'll keep the one we started with. Blank cover, so we can decorate that as well.

Sometime within the next week, I'll be finishing these and getting them in the mail. I think it's a really good concept. At some point, I may be adding 'friendship journals' to my shop. Any thoughts? I'd love to get all the input I can on this one. I think that especially with long distance relationships, it's so important to be able to hold onto something tangible.

And guess what?? As of this morning, I'm at 49 sales! I am so in awe and still squeal with delight at each and every one :-).

Defining Yourself

Yesterday I read this blog post. It's written by Sarah, who I recently met on Twitter. Sarah is on a journey and I have been drawn into her story for about a week now. I will definitely continue to follow it, because she is making changes in her life! Sarah writes about how her illnesses have defined her. And about how she is changing that! I urge you to read it, there's such a sincerity in her writing.

I was watching something last week and the person had been diagnosed with HIV, maybe it was House. But, after years of living with it, they became depressed upon hearing they did not have it. It was explained that when you have a diagnosis you identify as that. Losing that diagnosis wipes the slate clean, and sometimes it just makes the person feel empty. That, along with Sarah's post prompted this post.

I was mis-diagnosed with MS for 6 years. It defined everything I did. Everytime I got dizzy, it was my MS. Everytime I forgot something, yep, the MS. Muscle aches, weakness, tingling extremeties. My MS was with me constantly. It affected many decisions I made in my life. I totally let it define who I was. When I went to a new doctor, he asked about my symptoms, and he filled pages and pages with everything I told him. Then he looked at me and said "I will run the tests, but it does not sound like MS to me." I thought he was crazy! Within the month, the diagnosis had been lifted.

There were decisions I had made during that time that I am still working to reverse. And, I was kinda depressed. I didn't really express why to anyone because what kind of insanity is it to be sad that you are not dying of an incurable disease? But I no longer had a crutch. I had no easy way to dismiss when I forgot a conversation. I had nothing that made me 'special'. Not rational thinking, no. But that's how it was.

I had not really thought about that much til I read Sarah's blog yesterday. My un-diagnosis came about 5 years ago.

When I think about it, I realize that we all need ways that we are defined. I'm a mother. I'm a woman. And something I've not been feeling much of lately... I am an artist! I am a photographer. Sometimes I'm a mentor. I am a friend.

I really don't think my dad let's black lung define him. Perhaps he lets his Harley define him :-). And I think his family may define him. He's a dad, a grandfather. He is not his illness.

So, reading Sarah's blog about the journey she is on... it made me realize that I've drifted off of mine. It's time to get back out there and BE. I need to be the artist I am. I need to express my vision and move forward with it.

What journey are you on? How are you defined?