Changes

I posted yesterday about my desire to make changes in my life. Many of these changes are quite personal and it scares me to share them. But I will, in time, I am sure.

Yesterday, I was a bit more active. Tried to remain more calm and collected at work. And I ate healthier. I didn't do all the things I had hoped to work towards my goals. But it was my first day.

I need to prioritize things in my life. I need to show up at the page. I may even need to make friends with my camera again.

Truthfully, I'm not absolutely sure what changes I need to make. Or maybe what I don't know is how exactly to get from point a to poing b. I am trying, however, to state my intentions with each step forward.

Identity Crisis

I am having a bit of an identity crisis lately. I'm a photographer who hasn't gone out with my camera since right before Dad died. I'm a bookbinder, yes, doing that a lot lately. My day job certainly doesn't define me. I'm a writer who has not gotten out a pen in a very long time. Hmmmmm....

My main label these days, really, is photographer, as I have my work hanging in a local bakery this month, a gourmet pizza place next month, and lining more places up as we speak. I simply need to make friends with my camera again. That's all there is to it. I have a wooded area to explore and perhaps should do that this evening after the treadmill.

I'm constantly, it seems, re-prioritizing in life. It's like I line things up on the dash of the car, and as I drive-- or life happens-- they shift naturally. I then have to line them all back up again. Maybe I should find a more stable surface than the dashboard. Is that what I'm doing wrong? When I organize my life, am I not doing that step properly? I need some advice here! How do YOU keep all your ducks in a row and claim your true self?

Time Grew

Last night, I had an amazingly productive evening. I finished many little steps in prep for the craft show. One thing I've noticed about myself (for awhile now) is that I am energetic and very gung-ho... right up until the last couple steps of something. I am productive, more productive than ever, until the end. Then I drop it off... I get bored, I get excited about something else, and I move on.

So, last night, I didn't make a list. I just looked around, at my house in total disarray with pieces for the show everywhere. And I started a box. I packed everything that was ready for the show in that box. I looked at piles. Saw photos that were already bagged that I just needed to seal. Ok. I sealed those and put them in the box. Saw other photos waiting to be matted and bagged. So I did that, and placed them in the box. I had some journals that only need end papers put in. So they are stacked, and ready for me to tackle them today.

An interesting thing happened while I was doing my show prep. I started cleaning up some areas in my house. Not as a distraction, and not taking me away from my productivity... it's like time grew and I had more and more. It was very odd. I feel the main shift comes from all the soul-searching and re-prioritizing that I've been doing.

I know where my focus is, and time is growing for me to do it. Pretty amazing! I hope you discover wonderful, exciting, and surprising things today...

A Time and a Season for Everything

I remember in high school, I loved learning about poetry from my English teachers. All the adjectives, adverbs, sentence diagrams, you could keep that! But when it came time for poetry, my full attention was given! My freshman English teacher brought in a record player and played "Turn, turn, turn" by the Byrds. She handed out bibles while she did so and we read the premise of that song. I learned then that poetry came from a lot of different sources. I will never forget highschool english, and poetry....

But I digress. In that song/poem, it talks about how there's a time and a season for everything. For those selling online, we're embarking on the busy season, or at least we will be soon. I will be learning daily how to prioritize. How to make time for all that I want to do. How to get the hours in for marketing. Every single day will be a new lesson. After the holidays will be a down time. A time and season for everything.

Not sure where I'm going with this, actually... sometimes I'm on a flow, then I get distracted. That happens a lot with me.

But as I was saying, a season for everything... I've seen a lot of talks about reuniting with old friends via facebook, twitter, etc. About old transgressions being righted. I have had this going on myself. The internet is pretty amazing. Bringing old friends together. A time and a season for forgiveness and renewal.

Whatever season you are in, I wish you the grace to handle it well, and those around you to understand what you are going through...