One Leg of my Journey

I have decided to try blogging in the evenings again. A close out of the day. And today was quite refreshing, I must tell you. Things weren't as busy at work, I didn't feel so frazzled. I got off work on time. I had time when I got home to get some chores done and I had the energy to do them. It was quite amazing.

Tomorrow morning (today, as you'll be reading this), I have a roast in the crock pot and it will be ready by the time I get off work. After eating, I will begin prep for the next day's dinner.

I also need to fit some time in for writing this week, my class chat is Thursday, and I have journals to make. Life isn't likely to slow down any time soon. I think the answer is for me to make small changes until I find what's right for me.

I know this journey is not done. I absolutely will find a way to fit all that I need into my life. In the process, I believe I'll be discarding some things that I don't.

What journey are you on?

Slow and Steady

I'm finding out more and more that if I do small steps whenever I can on a project, that's still forward movement. What I mean is... I often don't have large chunks of uninterrupted time. So, I make slow and steady progress towards my goals.

I do, still try to carve out large chunks of time, but it's so rare these days. Work has gotten so busy and so exhausting that many things have fallen by the wayside. Like my novel. I've been needing to get back to it. And photography. I've been feeling called back. Soon...

And for now, I'll do the small steps because it's still forward progress. I hope to be listing new journals soon, as I have 3-4 partially completed.

How do you cope with a lack of time?

A new Quest

I realized some things yesterday. Was faced with some changes that I need to make. I need to get back on track. I need to move some things around in my life. Putting the focus back on my health. And also, remembering my goals.

Recently, when I was sick for a week, all of my goals were washed away by the necessity to just feel better. I stopped exercising. I wasn't eating properly or regularly. I stopped writing my novel (blaming that on getting writer's block, which I'm working through).

My life is FULL. My metaphorical plate is overflowing. It's time to put things right again. I have healthy lunches for the week at work, I have a renewed exercise schedule. I will be also scheduling writing and journal making.

Tonight I'm going to a meeting... so I have to adjust around that. But I will figure it out. The main thing I have to remember is to take care of myself with a more holistic approach. I can no longer be too busy to deal with emotions. Before, I think I was running from Dad's death. I kept myself amazingly busy for over 6 months time. And I succeeded in running from it for that long. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. The depression swooped down on me and engulfed me. Then... and I'm sure they are related, I got sick. A type of sick that I couldn't ignore. A fever for a week. Complete mind and body fatigue.

I need to learn how to deal. How to not run from emotions. How to stay on track with all of my busy-ness without running myself down.

So I'm on a new quest. The quest for my balancing point.

Time

I've been lamenting a lack of time for a week now. I've been sick, and have had no energy whatsoever. I hope that I'm on the mend now. But I realized yesterday, that I have time. I live my life this way. I have 89 projects going, in addition to running a household. Teaching a class. Running an etsy shop. Writing a novel. And starting a homebased business. It's all ok. Things fall into place. Whether I worry or not.

So today I will try to worry less, and simply be productive. I've had 2 sick days this week, so I'll be trying to get back into the groove at work.

What do you do when you think you don't have enough time for all that is going on?

Chugging Along

It has been a busy summer. So much activity with the boys. Saturday we paintballed, we went to Saturday Market, we played at our favorite water park. We had declared it "no chain day". On no chain day, we only eat and shop local. We don't go to any place that is a chain. It has it's own challenges, like we gas up the car the day before. We do our grocery shopping prior as well. But it's a fun and challenging thing. And it makes us appreciate the businesses that are local, and we support them so we can have them around for the next time. More often than not, it gives us places to go even when we have not declared it a no chain day.

My life will slow down after next weekend. It will calm a lot. And I can dive in to my novel. I can pursue some new venues with my journals. My mind is always going, and quite honestly, I deal with a lot of frustration when I can't follow through. So, the time will come soon to follow through.

And so I have another week of percolating. That's ok. It will be a very busy week. And mixed into the busy-ness will be me laying out an outline of a game plan. So that I don't just spin my wheels once I'm able to act on my thoughts.

Busy-ness

This week has been really hard. I've been mucking around in grief, and it had a strong hold on me. I was miserable. Until yesterday. Yesterday, I decided that I was going to be happy.

Ok, so I had no idea if it would work. But, for whatever reasons, it did. I miss Dad like crazy. But he would not want me to curl up into a ball and hide away from the world. He would want me to go on. And yesterday, I tried that. I am the type of person who can't stay down for long, so maybe after falling so far, I was due a good day. But perhaps it was simply because of what I had decided.

So, anyway, here's hoping today is the same. I will be happy today. There, it's said.

But what I really wanted to blog about was my need for busy-ness. I meditate occasionally, and can completely be still for that, but that is the only time that I am not busy. It's torture for me to go to the movie theater because I feel NONproductive! I watch movies at home, but my hands are constantly busy. While at work, even when I'm busy working, I'm still popping online and looking for stuff, or uploading things to etsy, or sending out query letters.

And I don't know if that's normal. Recently, on a Sunday, I was just sitting on the couch, zoning out, watching tv. A friend of mine said "that is not like you, what's wrong?" And he was right, I was just zoning because I was overwhelmed at that time... but is it normal to not really be able to relax?

Last weekend, we went on a trip, and I snapped pics the whole day. When we were in friend's homes visiting, I was relaxed and fully enjoyed it. But when in my home, always busy... so... normal?

Tis the season

Christmas is only 9 days away. I can hardly believe that it is upon us so quickly. I still have to mail stuff to my family and finalize my shopping. But I won't freak out! I'll list what I have to do and check it off.

Grocery shopping. Present shopping. Cooking. Baking. Cleaning. Wrapping. Wow. Is this really what this season means anymore?

It will all get done. And I will have a wonderful Christmas, together with my family. All of the chores will be done soon and I will be able to spend time with them. That's more like it... that's what the season is about.

It is so easy in this day and age to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life. That's why I *attempt* to be mindful in all things (sometimes I don't quite succeed) so that I can breathe through it and fully appreciate the joy before me.

This is the storm before the calm, as it were. Like the craft show a few weeks ago, all of the prep and the craziness ahead of time. I know that as soon as it begins, I am fine. Nothing that I can do at that point but be present and do what I am there to do. I know this about me, that's how I am.

So, even in the busy-ness, I will be calm, knowing that time is coming.

Busy Month

December is always an amazingly busy month. All the last minute shopping, wrapping, putting up the tree, cleaning for company, work parties, family get-togethers. It's no wonder so many adults I know dislike Christmas. It's very hard to remember to breathe.

My plan for the weekend is to go through all the gifts I've bought throughout the year, sort them, and wrap them. That will be a huge task, but perfect for a weekend when freezing rain is in the forecast. I will also be mailing 2 custom orders. Those being on their way for gift-giving will be a huge load off of my mind.

The new year will bring much change for me. I may put my shop on vacation for a period of time in February. I will be moving, and even though it's a local move, I don't think I want to stress over other things while I'm doing it.

Speaking of change in the new year. I am phasing out my handbound journals. They are currently all in my clearance section. They will most likely be replaced with something exciting and new... at some point.

I know that you are all feeling the time crunch. Try to make some special time for yourself. And try to remember to breathe. Make lists, prioritize, delegate, whatever it is that works for you. The holidays are *supposed* to be joyous.

Moving Forward

I made a lot of progress towards being ready for the craft show this weekend. I ordered most of the packaging needed, I edited more photos, started a list of photos and sizes to have printed out, and I even found time to work on some custom ordered journals and take some new photos.

I am at my best when I am busy. Idle time does not suit me well at all. I told someone the other day that I'm addicted to busy-ness. It's true. Sometimes though, I wish I knew how to just chill, and not worry about the next task that needs to be accomplished.

However, for the next couple of weeks, this busy-ness will serve me well. If any of you are in the Portland area, please contact me and I will send you an evite to the craft show.

I am moving forward in many areas of my life. And I have noticed in the past couple of days that I'm totally unwilling to keep the status quo on things that don't make sense. If something is wrong with a scenario, I'm changing it! If I've been going along with stuff just to appease someone, well, no more! I'm going to be true to myself, and I refuse to play the games any more.

I have spent a lifetime trying not to rock the boat. And now, I realize... sometimes you just have to be true to yourself. I talk all the time on here about being true to yourself. It's time I paid attention to that. It is, after all, what I fully believe in. It is time that I honored my *self*. In the recent path, I had not done so because I thought I'd hurt others around me. And it's not that I now want to hurt them. I need to be true to me, and I've finally realized that others around me can handle it.

Sometimes life, and relationships, are a struggle. Be true to you and the path meant for you will be clear... sometimes you just have to be able to see it.

So Thankful that it's Friday

I am so thankful that the weekend is almost here. I am committed this weekend to take some photos on Sunday. Saturday will be a busy family day, but that does include a road trip, so possibly some photos there as well. I am getting to the point where I want to photo everything... if it were up to me, an hour long road trip would be extended to an entire day just to stop and grab photos along the way.

I'll also be ordering all my supplies for the craft show this weekend. Making my list and checking it twice. And making sure my inventory is ready. I have a lot to focus on. And goals are one of the things in life that keeps me sane.

Without goals I wander aimlessly. I plummet into darkness. Truthfully, I very easily slide down into depression if I don't keep myself busy and focused. Luckily for me, this I know about myself and can keep it at bay.

My hope for all of you... all of my friends and family is that you know what to do to keep yourself raised up above that. The holidays are upon us soon. It's very common for depression to surface... and with the economy (I will be re-posting my blog about the economy soon), you absolutely must do all you can to hold your head above water. If you need some support, reach out. Talk with your friends, your family, even a professional. You are in control. Don't let it control you.

If you would like to talk to me, I am here. I'd love to help.

Kick Start Creativity

I took this photo one day with my dad. He was driving, and would stop each time he saw something photo worthy. Then I would get out, snap a few, and off we would be to the next photo opportunity.

Tomorrow, I hope to get some photography done, but it could very well work out that it will be Sunday. Either way. I just know I want a creative weekend.

I have been thinking a lot about doing The Artist's Way again. I'd love to start it right now, but I am realistic and know it may have to wait til March. In the meantime, I need to get my Artist's Way book out again, and just kinda look through it for a little kick start.

I know me. And I know that all I need is the gumption to get started... then I will be off and running again. Tomorrow, I will make journals around any possible photography time. I will also edit photos at some time this weekend and add items to my shop.

I'm lost without goals... how about you?

So much going on

I have roughly a million things going on in my life and none of them are reflected in my Etsy shop. I have my first online "home" party coming up (if you would like to host a party and earn free product, let me know), I have been putting finishing touches on and organizing my journals, I have been marketing like a mad woman. I have not been taking very many photos, but I hope to change that soon. I also hope to edit and list some photos today.

Next week will be a big creating week for me. This weekend I will be stocking up on supplies, and by Sunday I will be creating lots of new. What to make, what to make... definitely some art journals, as I am now down to only one in my shop. And hopefully some new motivational prints/products.

I hope that your creativity is taking flight! Mine... well, it's getting there :-)

A Time and a Season for Everything

I remember in high school, I loved learning about poetry from my English teachers. All the adjectives, adverbs, sentence diagrams, you could keep that! But when it came time for poetry, my full attention was given! My freshman English teacher brought in a record player and played "Turn, turn, turn" by the Byrds. She handed out bibles while she did so and we read the premise of that song. I learned then that poetry came from a lot of different sources. I will never forget highschool english, and poetry....

But I digress. In that song/poem, it talks about how there's a time and a season for everything. For those selling online, we're embarking on the busy season, or at least we will be soon. I will be learning daily how to prioritize. How to make time for all that I want to do. How to get the hours in for marketing. Every single day will be a new lesson. After the holidays will be a down time. A time and season for everything.

Not sure where I'm going with this, actually... sometimes I'm on a flow, then I get distracted. That happens a lot with me.

But as I was saying, a season for everything... I've seen a lot of talks about reuniting with old friends via facebook, twitter, etc. About old transgressions being righted. I have had this going on myself. The internet is pretty amazing. Bringing old friends together. A time and a season for forgiveness and renewal.

Whatever season you are in, I wish you the grace to handle it well, and those around you to understand what you are going through...

Lazy, long weekend

I had a 3 day weekend, as many of you in the US did. And it was lazy. I took naps, I watched some movies, and generally relaxed. I wonder how long it's been since I've just relaxed for that amount of time.

I forget, many times, to just chill out. I am constantly busy. Constantly on the go, fueled by my own momentum. Usually if I slow down, even a little, I have guilt. Guilt for not going 100 mph. Guilt for not getting as much done as I planned.

And I had planned lots of things for this weekend! I was going to clean my boys' rooms. Deep clean the living room, go through some stuff to sort out for the move. I don't feel guilty though. That stuff will get done. And I am recharged. Yay, me!

I have really big plans business wise, and I will start concreting those plans today. Working on some new journals, planning to learn some new techniques. Along with other plans... plans that I'll unveil soon!

I hope your weekend was wonderful. And surprising, in some way. And that this week is magical.

Moving towards relaxation

I've been a little harried lately. I don't do well with being idle, so I stay very busy. When I had my prescription drug withdrawal I was forced into a short period of time where I withdrew. But it was not rewarding, it was not relaxing. It was tormented. Now, though, I realize that I need to relax. I need a time when I'm not promoting and marketing 20 hours a day.

I can't do it yet. I'm in the middle of making 2 custom journals and packaging orders to mail. But I am working towards it. Sometime within the month of May, I'll have some time off. It will be a forced period of time when I don't go online and promote, and I just relax. I enjoy writing, perhaps I'll go through my writing. See? Still busy. Ugh. I'm not very good at this. I think the most important thing is I won't be marketing my shop. I think I'll go out with my best friend who I had lost touch with (I had been thinking about her for a week, she called me yesterday, I was so happy!!), and I will try to connect with a *me* that's not online.

I will definitely still blog, because this is not work. It's me getting in touch with my inner self. I will probably work shortened hours at my day job (I've been doing this, going home several hours early at least once a week). And possibly I will create as well. After all, that's what I enjoy doing. Sometimes I don't get the chance to do that, but I need to cool my jets and just let the creativity flow. No deadline, no specifications... just create.

That is what I'm working towards... we'll see how many excuses I can find to avoid it.