Acceptance

I spent the weekend around family and friends that I haven't really been around much since my recent divorce from my 2nd husband. We got my oldest son graduated. We had lots of laughs and caught up on old times.

The most amazing thing to me though, is the strain from EVERY prior visit (during my marriage to my 2nd husband), was gone. There was none of the drama, no tension. And everything felt... right. Total acceptance was felt by me, and I'm sure I was giving those same vibes.

It's amazing how the dynamics change, though I can't say it was all about the absence of one person. I have changed drastically. I am calmer, less on edge, and much more at peace. I put that out there, and it helps others at the same time.

My first husband and I have always remained friends. We have 3 amazing sons together, and there is nothing we can't accomplish for those boys when we are a unified front. I hear stories of ugly divorces. Of custody battles. Of couples with children who can NOT get along and it makes me so sad. I am thankful that we can be a family. I'm thankful that the boys have so many adults who love them completely. And I am thankful for acceptance.

What are you thankful for?

A Tribute to the Crazymakers

I was thinking yesterday about yin/yang, sunshine and rain. About how one could never appreciate the good without having lived through the bad. And now, I'm going to say something that no-one expects from me. I am thankful for the crazymakers that I've had to endure!

I've had long-term relationships with crazymakers. I've had literally years of suffering through their drama, not seeing a way out. I used to think there was nothing I could do about it if we were related. That's just how it was, they were a crazymaker, I was their (enter relationship), suck it up and deal.

Well, no longer. I've ended those relationships. And I am much happier for it. But the stark contrast of life then and life now is more evident to me because of knowing them. So I am thankful. The world would not be the same without crazymakers.

But since I am thankful and those experiences have helped mold me, will I go back into a relationship with one? No Way! But I will run into them in my life. I will have to deal with them-- at arms length. I will always wish them well and hope they can find some happiness and health in their life, but I will not take the project on.

What surprising thing are you thankful for?

Be your Own Anchor

I am finding more and more, that I have to be my own anchor. Yes, there are supports around me, but if I have self doubt, I will crumble regardless of who else is holding me up. I am also discovering that the more sure I am of my path, the more headstrong certain people in my life are about throwing obstacles in my way.

In The Artist's Way, the author, Julia Cameron, refers to these people as crazy-makers. And I'm finding that the stronger I become, the stronger they try to be. No problem. I am ready.

We are embarking on Thanksgiving... and for the first year of my life, I'm not having a Thanksgiving meal. I'm doing nothing really to mark the day. Partially because I'm wiping the slate clean to start new traditions next year, but more because it is always a LOT of hard work. When I was a child, I helped the women prepare the meal. I helped them put food away, and clean up. Hours and hours of prep. Less than an hour of everyone eating. Then more hours of cleaning. I'm sure the men were thankful. But I was not.

I also don't really understand ONE day to be thankful. I'm thankful almost every day. I have MUCH to be thankful for, and I can see it all clearly. So, that being said, Happy Thanksgiving from me. I am thankful for each and every one of you who reads my blog... who comments, who touches my life in some way.

I will be blogging through the week, on my usual schedule. Dad... take it easy tomorrow... don't overdo!

If any of you are confronting crazy-makers, do you have any fool-proof tactics that work for you?