What an Amazing Life!

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Today is the beginning of my child-free weekend. By the time I get home from work, the boys will be at the coast with their dad. I am so excited about sleeping in tomorrow and lounging around. Of course, I'll also be cleaning this weekend. And doing some grocery shopping.

Last night in the Artist Empowerment Class chat, Susan Piver joined us, and it was amazing. She is such a beautiful person. I don't want to gush so much, but suffice it to say that she said everything that my students needed to hear about fear, crazymakers, and succeeding as artists. Susan will be at a book signing in my area in November and you KNOW that I will be there!

Life is truly amazing, and one thing that I need to hold myself to is "a little less talk, a lot more action". Off I go to make all my dreams come true!

Ramblings.

It seems like it has been a really long week. This weekend I plan to write and relax. And that sounds absolutely heavenly to me right now. I don't really fit in a lot of ME time during the summer. And for the most part that is ok. I thoroughly enjoy my boys. However, this weekend their dad is taking them to the coast for a campout. So, I will be left to my own devices.

I've been thinking about some things in my life lately. Some things that just don't seem to be working for me. I need to figure out how to do what I need to do without doing so much that I don't want to do. My end goal is to be more authentic. And let's just say that it isn't so much the case in some areas right now.

I will begin, I believe by scheduling more time to write. When I'm writing or teaching my class, I am so happy. I feel like I am doing what I am meant to do. Speaking of teaching, my next ARTIST EMPOWERMENT CLASS will begin September 6. I am thrilled to be offering it again, and I will be posting more details soon! If you have questions in the meantime, leave me a comment or shoot me an email at robynsart@live.com

Moving Up from the Abyss

Yesterday was an extremely down day for me. First, I began thinking about the phone call from my brother letting me know that Dad had died, on my way to work. So I cried halfway there. I thought about my blogpost much of the day... and about how I could move beyond the guilt.

When I got home, it all turned around. I got off a little bit early to transport the boys all around. One son went and did an activity that he really wanted to do, the other 2 made homemade rootbeer. We bought all the bottles, caps, and supplies and set up an assembly line. We should know in about 10 days how that turned out! I talked with them a bit, and it made me realize that they harbor no ill will... their life has been great. I struggled through that marriage, and I protected them. So it seems that it's just a matter of working through my own crap now (isn't that how it usually is?).

Today I'm taking some more leaps of faith and contacting select sites about advertising my journals on there. Life is good, sometimes I just have to remind myself!

So This is the Deal

My life is absolutely amazing right now. I have everything I could need. There is so much love in it. And opportunities are coming to me... like I'm innertubing in a stream of opportunity, and they are moseying all around me, for me to grab at will. And I'm grabbing, believe me!

I've gotten comfortable with 'leap of faith' mode and trust it completely. I can absolutely see the yellow brick road and all the goodness before me and I know I'm on the right track.

But life just can't be that easy. Perhaps it has to have some roadblocks so that we can appreciate all the good. My roadblock right now is guilt. It's coming at me full force, and instead of batting it away, instead of ignoring it, I'm at a space where I want to deal with it.

I am a mother of 3 amazing teenage sons. Their father and I have been divorced for 8 years or so. He and I have an amazing relationship, and we never argue or bicker about anything, least of all the boys. But between that marriage and now, I had a bad marriage. One where that husband was completely self centered and even complained when the boys would "eat all the food". I stayed for reasons that made a little sense at the time, and now that that is over, life is so amazing and drama free. We have absolutely everything we could need. We enjoy each other's company and have wonderful times.

Yet the guilt of that relationship. Of that unhappy time for my boys (and even that wasn't all that bad, we always had one another and had fun)... it's surfacing. And I'm ready to deal with it. The only trick I know right now to deal with this is self-love. But how is the best way to deal with guilt and regret? How do you deal when you are the only one not forgiving yourself?

I did It!

Saturday was a family fun day. I knew what was planned, the boys had NO Clue! We went to Mt. Hood Ski Bowl Adventure Park. They have alpine slides there that are like a luge, bungee trampolines, a 500' zip line, a bungee jump, and a reverse bungee. I did it all. One of my sons did it all. 2 of them opted out of the bungee and the reverse bungee, and hey, maybe they have more sense than I do!

I learned about Leap of Faith. Stepping off of that platform on the bungee jump was the most difficult thing I ever did. Am I glad I did it? Absolutely! Would I ever do it again? Most likely not. But I did it. At 38, I did something that I was deathly afraid of. I did it. That's what matters.

We covered fear a couple weeks ago in my Artist Empowerment Class. I think it helped with this. I knew that I had fear, and I understood all the reasons. I also understood that all the safety precautions had been taken, I'd be safe. So, the decision to jump or not was completely within me. The No almost won, I can assure you. And if it had, that would be ok too... but I can't really even tell you how amazing it is to me that I said Yes. Saying yes to a 100 foot drop is VERY out of character for me.

I'm pushing my limits. With the bungee, with my business, with my class, and with my life. I am putting it all out there and taking leaps of faith!

TGIF

I've had a very full, very rewarding week. And tomorrow I have BIG plans with my boys. Plans that are a surprise to them. Plans that will push my boundaries completely and make me face fear.

Sunday will be all about resting after all the activity on Saturday. I must say this is an amazing life. Monday I should have some pictures from the weekend activities...

What do you do to push your boundaries?

A Little Rested

I have been so tired this week that I've dropped off from goal setting. I'm a little more rested today, so I think it's time to be back on that horse! I have one special journal that I'm writing my book in and I believe I will take that to work today. We've had a lot of idle time lately, and I may possibly be able to get some notes made.

Tonight is our class chat. We are already nearing the end of week 3. I can't believe that we are halfway done. It has been an amazing experience! Tonight's class chat will have a special guest: Susan Piver, and I am thrilled beyond belief! If you're not familiar with Susan, see her at www.susanpiver.com. She is an amazing woman, and I've gotten to know her a little bit better recently on facebook. My hope is that this is the beginning of a long friendship! So, tonight at the class chat, I'm going to be trying not to gush so much! :-)

Life is absolutely amazing. I am surrounded in my online world by very creative and influential people. I am lucky. The other day, Susan said to me that what she loved about facebook and twitter is the serendipity. I wholeheartedly agree. My heart is full, and I am ready to go full steam ahead!