Manipulation. It's What's For Dinner.

I have a few weeks left. 18 days til I get my keys. 4 1/2 weeks til this apartment has to be turned back in. At some point during that 2 week period, I will become closer to freedom.

I will start a new diet. I will start new habits. My current diet consists of manipulation. Games. Guilt. Control. I will toss that very lousy diet out the window and start fresh. My new diet will consist of meditation, conversation, peace, and understanding.

I will try to keep this as universal as possible, but there will be times, like today, when it's all about me. However, I only put it on here because I know I'm not the only one going through this type of situation.

My husband and I reached a conclusion MONTHS ago to divorce. It was absolutely mutual, though he was the one to finally voice it (I will share the reasons for that someday...). And, due to a lease, we chose to live together for about 5 more months. One would think any control issues would be done with.

Honestly, though, he still feels that his time off work should be filled with my presence. If he goes anywhere, he tries to include me, and if I go anywhere, he expects to be included. I have no idea any more how to get things through his head. I stopped eating the game playing diet awhile back, though he still tries to serve it to me nightly. Have any of you been there? Do any of you have any advice?

In a few weeks, I will be all moved. I don't even plan on telling him exactly where I'm moving to, truthfully. My home will be full of peace, with no room for the games. But until then... do I grin and bear it?

Reclaiming my Life

So. I mainly marketed yesterday while I was at work. I marketed like a mad woman, but it's time that I would have been sitting there bored. I also edited a lovely rainbow photo and listed it. Today I hope to do the same... along with some journaling and reading the manual for my new camera.

Sometimes, I find, that I have to remind myself that life is good. Do you know what I mean? It's not just blatantly, in your face amazing. But life is good. Life is exactly what I make of it, and sometimes it's difficult to see through the muck of being exhausted from too many hours, or frustrated due to housework, or whatever is trying to rain on my parade at the time.

I often forget that *I* am the one in the driver's seat here. And I am the one, the only one, who chooses my reaction to those things around me. Yes, sometimes others do have the power to influence my feelings, but when it comes down to it, I am the one in control. Must. remember.

So... several t0-do's are stacking up. Simplify my life... reclaim my life... ultimately, they all go together, eh? I just need to remember what a magical ride this thing called life is.