Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Manipulation. It's What's For Dinner.

I have a few weeks left. 18 days til I get my keys. 4 1/2 weeks til this apartment has to be turned back in. At some point during that 2 week period, I will become closer to freedom.

I will start a new diet. I will start new habits. My current diet consists of manipulation. Games. Guilt. Control. I will toss that very lousy diet out the window and start fresh. My new diet will consist of meditation, conversation, peace, and understanding.

I will try to keep this as universal as possible, but there will be times, like today, when it's all about me. However, I only put it on here because I know I'm not the only one going through this type of situation.

My husband and I reached a conclusion MONTHS ago to divorce. It was absolutely mutual, though he was the one to finally voice it (I will share the reasons for that someday...). And, due to a lease, we chose to live together for about 5 more months. One would think any control issues would be done with.

Honestly, though, he still feels that his time off work should be filled with my presence. If he goes anywhere, he tries to include me, and if I go anywhere, he expects to be included. I have no idea any more how to get things through his head. I stopped eating the game playing diet awhile back, though he still tries to serve it to me nightly. Have any of you been there? Do any of you have any advice?

In a few weeks, I will be all moved. I don't even plan on telling him exactly where I'm moving to, truthfully. My home will be full of peace, with no room for the games. But until then... do I grin and bear it?


TheHappySoul said...


I know this probably isn't what you want to hear, but I'll tell you what I would do. Grin and bear it, and don't let him think that he's getting under your skin. He's just trying to keep control, and if he thinks he's pushing your buttons, he'll keep doing it. Put on your smile, and act like he's not even phasing you with his crap. There's no getting through to him anyway, so you might as well make the last couple weeks as smooth as possible. Get out your calendar and check off the days as they go by, and keep your eye on the prize.


designsbykari said...

I have to agree...Grin and bear it. It won't always be easy, but just keep the end game in site. When things get tough, go to the happy place where your sitting on the sofa in your new place gazing out at the gallery of Robynsart and of course Kevin's Masterpiece!

lostsentiments said...

Ugh - there is light at the end of the tunnel girl. :S I'm so sorry the interim sucks like none other. I'll be praying for you for perseverance and strength love! *hugs*

giggles'N' rainbows said...

I think the comments are on the right track. I find the ocean is for me a great stress reliever. The perfect place to sort things out, to refresh, and renew to put things in perspective.
Now I don't have an ocean outside my door...but any water crashing to shore always helps even if it is ocean sounds. Take yourself away from it..escape to your favorite place. Think of your new start and all the possibilities that it holds. Huggs!

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