Tuesday, February 23, 2010

At a Loss

I am at a loss. And here's why. What I want to do: stay in bed, cry, feel all the pain that's coming my way. What I don't want to do: go to work, take photos, call family members to check on them, list things in my etsy shop, do this week of The Artist's Way, take care of myself.

I have never been in this position before. I've always known what's best and done it. And not only that, but I have always guided others. Perhaps I still do know what's best, but I don't feel compelled at all.

A friend suggested yesterday writing a letter to dad and maybe tying it to a balloon to release. Perhaps I might do that, I don't know. I don't feel equipped to cope with all this.


TheHappySoul said...


I don't know the right words to say. I don't know if any words would do any good. I do know that what you are going through is completely normal, and anyone who has lost someone near and dear to their heart would tell you the same thing. They would also tell you that it may not seem like it now, but sooner or later, it will get better. Just take it day by day, minute by minute, and be sure to remember that I love you.


designsbykari said...

This too shall pass...

It's one day in a long greiving period and I'm sure there will be more like this. Look for something positive today, a beautiful sunset, the warmth of the sun on your face...Something!

When my grandma past away my mother, brother and I attached little letters to 3 balloons and let them go. It was a wonderful experience and we got to say our goodbyes. I suggest it too.

Mary said...

Robyn, you are doing great. It takes a LOT of time. I'm here with my hammer, chipping away some of that cement. You are in my thoughts and prayers each day.

I suggest starting a journal, where you can write something to your Dad every day or as often as you want. Tell him how much you miss him, how much it hurts etc. Writing a journal is excellent therapy.

Love and hugs and many, many blessings.
Mary (naturepoet)

Aisha said...

Robyn, you know that all your friends are always here for you in any way we can. One thing that I admire about you is how open you are with your feelings. You WILL get through this! All these suggestions are wonderful and I wholeheartedly agree with them.

You are always in my prayers, I love you!


giggles'N' rainbows said...

I feel your pain hun…that may seem strange but I have always been a person that can totally empathize with others. Many times it’s gotten me into a situation that I couldn’t cope with.
What I’m going to suggest may seem strange at the moment…but I tell you it really worked for me. I realize that you may not be able to do it today…but sometime soon…start a painting, paint something meaningful, or just put some color on the canvas, It doesn’t’ matter… On several occasions when I couldn’t cope I started a painting. I’ve read on your blog that you paint, so paint or draw something, anything. As an artist you know that when you creating you totally lose track of time… you use a different part of your brain….you become part of the painting, you are lost in it. The emotion, pain, happiness whatever you are feeling comes out. So think about it….Maybe today is too soon for that, but maybe it’s not….I hope it will help ….

Anonymous said...

Robyn, what can I say... I love you so much and don't want you to be in pain. But the fact is that you can't heal if you don't let yourself feel the pain. It's ok to crawl in bed and cry. It's ok to take a break from reality and responsibilities. You should set time aside to cry and absorb your pain. When your time is up, move on with the daily grind. Even if you're just going through the motions of daily life now, you'll eventually begin enjoying things more and more as you heal.

Hugs and loving thoughts,

wyanne said...

Thanks for leaving such a nice comment on my blog when you are going through so much. I'm sending much love and positive thoughts your way. I hope you feel better soon.

Related Posts with Thumbnails