Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Moving Forward

I was talking to some friends online yesterday about my grief. I told them I felt like I had concrete boots on and I was just exhausted from trying to move forward. I was resigned to feeling that way for a long time.

But. I have 2 deadlines this week. One for a photo contest, and one for that photography-only show (the show I had talked to Dad about and he had encouraged me like mad). So, I made a list. A very small list, but it got the basics done. I asked for help, and my submissions are being taken in.

That one small move lifted my spirits. It made me realize many things. One, that my grieving won't be done for a very long time, and some days I will cry buckets. Two, that Dad knew me as a very purpose-filled person. He would not want his death to rob me of that.

I did start a Dad journal. With a conversation of sorts... things I want Dad to know, things I'm feeling, dreams I have. I'm getting by, with a little help from my friends.


TheHappySoul said...

(((((((((((((((SIS))))))))))))))))) YAY! Baby steps, sunshine! And be sure to reach out for that hand up when you need it. You know we'll be there to help.


Mary said...

Robyn, A Dad journal is the perfect thing to let you write down your feelings. Yes, the healing process takes a long time, but you are doing great so far. Keep up the good work.

Mary (naturepoet)

wyanne said...

I'm glad you are taking small steps. The Dad journal is a great idea. You are a strong woman.

ardee said...

One day at a time, that's all you can take. Give yourself the chance to grow stronger and more positive! You've suffered a great loss and it's ok to feel bad about that! I think the journal is a good idea!

Aisha said...

I am so glad that you are taking these small steps and even more glad that they are making you feel better! I predict that your Dad journal is going to be your most precious possession :) One day at a time my dear, and we are all here for you to lean on and talk to!

Hugs and prayers,
Aisha :)

lostsentiments said...

Awe robyn, what a great idea! :)

"I did start a Dad journal. With a conversation of sorts... things I want Dad to know, things I'm feeling, dreams I have."

sometimes even our own words are able to comfort us in time and all the memories you have of him that you write over time will be kept very vivid too. What a great healer. :) It sounds like the best gift to give yourself robyn :D

I admire that you are pushing through - and still being inspired by your dad :) - you are a purpose filled person with many, many gifts. and maybe it's cliche but spider man did say it best when he said something to the effect to whom much is given, much is expected. someone correct the quote if I'm wrong, but this comes to mind...

good for you for embracing the journey love ((((robyn))))

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