On January 1, 2009 I will be the featured artist on a blog called 365 Days of Etsy. Come check it out!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
I am sitting here at work, a mere 3 hours into my day, and things have been illuminated for me this morning. I have seen everything that I do NOT want in a job... negativity is swirling around me. People are hateful, and controlling. Generally not nice. These are all things that I do NOT want to spend 40-60 hours a week around. I have really got to get my butt in gear to get out of this place!
I don't mean to whine. That's not what this is about. This is me putting it in black and white, as a reminder to self... to get OUT. Connie was right... time to let go. I will be researching marketing for my shop, and more notably my photography.
Posted by Robynsart at 9:01 AM
Tomorrow is the beginning of a new year... funny how people mark that. This morning I'm thinking that New Years probably has little meaning for most people I know. A business' fiscal year does not have to be from January to January, in fact, in my experience it usually is not. And many of my friends mark their year by their birthdays... My 37th year is starting today.
I always make resolutions... but they are not always New Years Resolutions...I am pretty arbitrary... I sometimes have March 2nd resolutions, or whatever it may be. Anyway....
Happy New Year to you, whenver that may be. I still have the feeling that this is going to be a most awesome and magical year, my 37th year.
Speaking of magic, something just occurred to me. I've always been a tomboy. A girl raised with 2 brothers (both sisters were older and out of the house), always one of the guys. I've always related to males. However, when I was 19 and first married, my air force husband was a meteorologist. I would go have coffee with the 'weather wives' a few times a week. Nancy, from New York, taught me a lot about interpersonal communication, and I learned how to hang around with females. A few good female friends later, and we've all pretty much dropped out of touch.
So... the magic (chasing rabbits today, I swear)... this blog has brought me to be friends with a group of women, and it seems to be expanding daily. That's not to lessen your importance Geoff, Dad, or Rod (or Dale if you're still here?). But friendships with women is still very new to me. There is a magic involved. That is a side affect I had not expected from this blogging experience, a very nice one.
So, whenever your New Year may be, I hope this one is magical... the power is within.
Posted by Robynsart at 4:48 AM
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
I just spoke with Wanda. Today they tried to take Lizzie off the ventilator. They were unsuccessful, and had to put her back on it. So, they did not make as much progress today as they would have liked. However, they determined with an MRI yesterday that most likely there is no brain damage. yay for that victory! Tomorrow, she will be undergoing surgery to have a halo put in place to isolate her broken vertebra to allow it to heal. Today Lizzie is more awake, and very strong... whether that is good or bad... we'll see.
Posted by Robynsart at 3:17 PM
I absolutely love this photo. I purposefully focused on the drops of rain on the window and the background is blurring by... taken during a really long road trip. It's called "Life passing by". I added it to my Etsy shop yesterday, though honestly I don't know that it will appeal to anyone but me. But that's ok... I love love love it.
Time has been zooming forward since Christmas. It always does this for me. The space between Christmas and my birthdy seems non-existent. But here we are... the holidays are over, my birthday is here.
I am 37 today. My friend Connie did my numerology and 3+7= 10... 1+0=1, and 1 means... "focus of ones creative energy & to use tools & instruments to manifest ones desires. New beginnings."
How exciting is that??? I'm so there right now... I have my new beginnings and I'm focusing my creative energy! Life is good!
My birthday wish is many faceted. I wish for happiness, I wish for all I need, I wish for health, I wish for love, I wish for deep friendships. And I wish that for all of you as well. Funny thing is... I've already got all that!
Thank you for the amazing, irreplaceable role you play in my life!
Posted by Robynsart at 4:50 AM
Monday, December 29, 2008
I have been looking forward for weeks. Forward to 2009, making plans, being excited about what the future holds. But today, I woke up looking back.
What an amazing year it's been. 2008 was very good to me. In the past year, I've dove head first into journal making and photography. I've committed to blogging. I've made many wonderful friends.
But most of all, 2008 brought my dad and I together. I am so thankful for the times he and I have had. The visits during my trips to Utah, the phone conversations. The discovery that we are very much alike.
And now, my blog takes a bit of a different turn for this post. 5am and 2 phone calls already this morning. The second one was from my dad. He knows my schedule, and that makes me smile. We had a nice little chat and he re-affirmed to me that life is good.
The first phone call I received though was from my oldest sister. I am the youngest of five children, and we are very spread out in age. My oldest sister, her name is Wanda. She and her family are in crisis mode. Wanda's 22 month old grand-daughter was struck by a car yesterday. She darted out in front of a car while her mom was buckling the baby into her car seat. Lizzie is in an medically induced coma. She has a torn liver, a broken vertebra and a bruise on her brain.
My gut feeling from what Wanda told me is that Lizzie is a fighter. I think she will pull through this. But the family is hurting. They all need rest and faith. Any prayers you guys could shoot out to them would be greatly appreciated.
Posted by Robynsart at 4:42 AM
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Posted by Robynsart at 10:27 AM
Friday, December 26, 2008
The rush up to the holidays is over. It seems to to take over my life. Next year, I hope to be doing craft shows as well, so it will probably be even busier. Unless I get organized! In the early months of 2009, I will be writing up a month by month, even week by week at some points, business plan.
I am also hoping to get some freelance photography jobs to finance a trip or two to Utah to see my family. If you have any input on that, please let me know!
I am very absorbed with looking forward right now. Don't forget my interview on the 1st. I will get an exact link to put on here soon. In the meantime, don't forget to go to www.blogtalkradio.com and set up your free account.
I will post more soon. I listed several new photos in my shop over the last few days. If you have any comments on them, I'd love to hear!
Posted by Robynsart at 1:04 PM
Thursday, December 25, 2008
My Christmas was amazing and wonderful. Even though my family is spread out, we were all close in spirit. I am not one to throw words out there like 'blessed'... but I am feeling so truly blessed these days.
Relationships without drama are so much easier after a certain age... Life is wonderful.
I hope all is well in your worlds.
Posted by Robynsart at 3:07 PM
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
It just occurred to me that if I had any goals of things to accomplish, it's most likely too late... This week and next are always a blur. However, after that things slow down greatly and I will have some fabulous resolutions!
Years ago, we had a family friend named Eric (so many years ago, that I was still married to my first husband). Eric was pretty much a member of the family. He would stay with us from the time he got off work Friday night til he went to work Monday. He drove me insane! He hogged the remote, he only wanted to watch football, he kept crazy hours and slept on the couch during the day. He made amazing meals though. He insisted on buying and cooking food while he was there. And he opened our world up to so many types of food. Sushi was one.
Now I can't remember if his birthday was the day before or the day after mine... and it's not important. He was the type of person that drove you nuts when he was around, but you missed deeply when he was absent. The year I turned 30, I made a list of resolutions, and at some point I showed the list to Eric. There were twelve items on my list. He thought I was absolutely crazy to have so many goals! And he wasn't the type of person to let it go, he ragged on me for at least a week, but I stood my ground and had every intention of meeting all of my resolutions.
Eric was killed by a drunk driver the day after Valentine's day. We got the call at 2am, we called another friend, and he came over, and we sat and cried for what seemed like days. This was 2002. To this day, there's space in my heart for our dear friend, Eric. I'd give anything for him to come over and piss me off! And, I will make my list of resolutions, and I will stick to them, knowing that he would be laughing at me the whole way... of course, he'd also be cheering me on.
Merry Christmas to Eric's family... and to all of us that loved him. And Merry Christmas to all those who are now in my life. I love you!
Posted by Robynsart at 7:44 AM
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
So... today is going to be filled with cleaning, bringing some sort of organization to the living room that's been overtaken with presents, last minute laundry and last minute shopping.
Yesterday, due to the storm, mail was not even delivered in most of the Portland area. I'm waiting for packages from family and I'm getting antsy! I hope they deliver today. I've never heard of the mail not being delivered.
We went and played in the snow yesterday. We went to a local park and had so much fun! I took a ton of photos, and I will be working on a portfolio soon.
Today will be busy, and it's time to run.... Merry Christmas Eve Eve!
Posted by Robynsart at 8:46 AM
Monday, December 22, 2008
- I blog... it's my form of journaling. I don't feel balanced if I don't blog every week day. I have also started doing 'wordless weekends' to put photos up. I process a lot of my thoughts while blogging.
- I try to get alone time every day. I deal with the public at work all day long. It drains me. I try to have time by myself every day. Sometimes I go for a drive, sometimes a walk, sometimes just a long bubble bath.
- I create every day. Many times lately, I create in the form of photography. I always have my camera with me, and I snap away most every time that I'm inspired.
- I get plenty of rest. If I don't get enough sleep, I act like a 2 year old who needs a nap. So, if I had not gotten enough sleep the night before, I'll take a nap after work. It works for me.
- I try to make contact with loved ones, though this doesn't happen every single day. When I go too long without contact, I feel very 'off'.
Those are my five. If you are reading this, consider yourself tagged :-). I just don't feel comfortable tagging specific people this close to the holidays. But if you post your five, please leave me a comment and let me know!
Posted by Robynsart at 11:24 AM
Our world is covered in snow. Completely covered, to the point where trees are falling over from the weight of the snow. We are all off work, because we can't safely get to our work. I'm hoping to either go for a walk later or a drive to go take some photos. There are too many of us to be cooped up all day.
Yesterday we went into downtown Portland to do some shopping. The freeways were practically empty. We saw some amazing things though... first we saw a cross country skier trying to ski up an onramp to the freeway. Then we saw several other cross country skiers skiing across downtown Portland.
This is going to be a rough week, weather wise. We took all of our extra blankets, jackets, and coats to the homeless shelter. It was really nice to be able to do that. I hope that it helps them a little.
Posted by Robynsart at 9:35 AM
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Posted by Robynsart at 9:02 PM
Friday, December 19, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Posted by Robynsart at 5:14 AM
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Today is my Mom's birthday. I was thinking about her last night... and I was thinking about how I've always objectified her. To me, she's always been Mom. I don't have much idea of what kind of person she was. I've heard stories... about dying her hair green and making green pancakes for St. Patrick's day... about her favorite song being Queen of the Silver Dollar by Dr. Hook. But honestly, I'm not sure which stories are true. What I realized last night is that she was just a person. She made mistakes, she had struggles. She was human. Strange revelation.
I will be 37 in a matter of weeks. My mom died 23 years ago. That's a long time... I wonder things about her. What did she like to do? Did she have hobbies? Did she like photography? What was her favorite color. What was her favorite food... favorite drink... what are all the puzzle pieces that made her who she was. Perhaps I will never know.
I don't have many memories of my mom as a person. She had MS and was bedridden from the time I was 9 til she died. And perhaps I will always wonder about her. We used to read her letters from my sister, Lynda... Mom couldn't speak, but tears would roll down her cheeks. So, I know she could love. And I'd venture to say from other things that she loved very deeply. I'd like to think she was passionate... that she enjoyed life to it's fullest. Of course... I don't know that. But I think I do...
Anyway, I'm rambling... I don't usually remember her birthday. Today, though, I feel a sort of peace about it.
Posted by Robynsart at 5:00 AM
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
This is my back porch... well, patio. Two things I adore, my bamboo wind chimes and my prayer flags...
The snow is awesome! Not so great to drive in... but it's beautiful! Tomorrow, another storm is expected. Today I will go to work and rock people's world. (cute pun, doncha think?? I work in a sand and gravel pit... seems no-one stockpiled sanding rock this year and we have some emergency orders).
Things are progressing in my life... I updated journal photos on my Etsy site, updated all of my journal descriptions, today I'm giving a bit more info on my photography. I have big hopes for the coming year, and I'm raising the bar now.
Regarding my radio interview: it will be on www.blogtalkradio.com I will get a direct link from them to my interview, in the meantime, you should set up your free account and bookmark the site if you'd like to listen in!
I went to craft warehouse on Sunday... we don't have one real close to us, so I combined it with a trip and went to the one in Salem. I will be making photo coasters soon... and got lots of ideas. I hope to have more photo items for sale soon.
My life is all about that Etsy shop these days, huh? It really is... I'm in planning mode. I need to figure out what I want for the next year... the next 5... 10....
I won yesterday!!!! I'm a winner! There is an artist here in Portland who I absolutely love... her name is Ryan and her stuff can be found here. Anyway, I read her blog... it can be found here. And I entered her drawing... now I get to pick a photo block of my very own!! I'm so excited. Like I said, Ryan is local... if I ever met her I would probably hyper-ventilate! I just think she is amazing....
So... taking tons of stuff to do at work today. I will be a little busier today than yesterday but I will still have tons of free time.
Posted by Robynsart at 4:38 AM
Monday, December 15, 2008
This beautiful city that I love is now covered in snow!! I have not uploaded any snow pictures yet, so you get to see it from a couple of weeks ago. We woke up to snow yesterday morning and it continued to snow throughout much of the day. It is absolutely breathtaking outside!
And because there's so much snow, and it makes everything look so crisp, and new... my brain is in plan mode. I'm revamping my shop. (also, thanks to Connie's wonderful advice). I'll be updating journal pictures and re-doing descriptions. I will also be adding more photography and I'm working on making my journals be 100% all natural... with recycled paper :-).
I have a radio interview on January 1 at 9pm EST. I will post the link on here, today or tomorrow. If you'd like to listen, you'll need to create a free account prior to that time. There should also be archives up afterwards, and I will get the link for that as well.
I'm also planning some new photo projects. Coasters, boxes, trivets... we'll see :-). Definitely note cards. My mind is going, going, going.
It is starting to feel a little like Christmas, now that it's snowing. Funny thing is... snow here practically shuts the town down. Public transportation is greatly decreased... stores are closed, even gas stations. I lived in Alaska for 2 years and this is still a very strange concept for me. One inch of snow on the ground closes down schools. So... at least for now, things are slowed in my immediate outside world. And things are moving so fast in my mind!
I will take a list to work with me today (since there won't really be any work to do), and start on my tasks... and organize my thoughts.
Posted by Robynsart at 4:42 AM
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
This photo is a gift for Eleanor. I hope she finds it helpful to find her true North.
This weekend I should be making jam for Christmas gifts, and probably some cakes in a jar as well... to give to work friends. But, you know, that's if I get around to it. I will definitely be taking some photos and making journals. I have a radio interview coming up on January 29 about my craft and my business. I will post the details on here as it comes closer. It's an internet radio show, so I hope you can all get a chance to join. In the meantime, I really should come up with a name! A few suggestions have come may way, and I've thought of some as well. I just need to see what feels right.
Today while I'm at work, I will upload some photos to my kodak site... I am such a procrastinator! You know... when I think about what I want to be when I grow up... here's what I get:
- Utilizing my creativity
- Making my own hours
- Enriching lives
That's it in a nutshell. So... I want to sell my journals and photography and have it sustain me. I know in my heart that it's possible. So, at this point, I need to do the work to make it happen. Pictures are being taken by the hundreds. I have quite a inventory of journals on hand. I've started writing a business plan in my head, and it will be put on paper early in 2009. I've done research for professional printing of pictures and business cards. I have been researching marketing venues. I have been taking a photography course to improve my photos. (Dad, I will submit some homework this weekend)
Today I'm going to be researching some new binding stitches. Might switch it up a bit and have a larger variety of journals.
I hope that we can ALL find our true North!
Posted by Robynsart at 4:53 AM
Thursday, December 11, 2008
I am making my business official after the new year. However, I need a name! I am going to be focusing on journals and photography... please help me come up with a name.
Posted by Robynsart at 8:00 AM
Another picture from Newport. I talked with my dad last night, after I had talked with my sister in law. So... my sister in law got a camera at the same time I did. Same camera. And this year instead of hiring a photographer, she took photos of her daughters in front of their tree to put in her Christmas cards. She was getting them printed out and ran into an old friend who asked to see the pictures. They were so awesome that today my sister in law (we'll call her J from here on) is going over to that friends house to take pictures of her children!
J is discovering her inner artist. It is such an awesome thing to see. And as a total act of synchronicity, dad had talked to her about the two of them going on a photo day. He is helping to show her the way... helping open her eyes to things she may not have seen before. And he is giving them both an amazing experience.
I fully believe in encouraging artists. We are delicate souls, in a way. We need lots of encouragement. Lots of pats on the back, a lot of interest from those around us. Especially when we are newborns in our craft. We are timid and scared. We need validation from people we respect. Dad is giving that to J, and very often to me. He is an amazing soul.
I will be posting more of Dad's photos... no schedule, just putting them on here as I feel it's time. He has been reading my blog. How awesome is that??? Good morning, Dad! Have a wonderful day everyone.
Posted by Robynsart at 4:50 AM
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Posted by Robynsart at 4:44 AM
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
How cute is this guy? He sat so nicely so I could take pictures. I fell in love. This was taken in Newport, Oregon on Sunday.
The holidays have a way of making a crafter slow down after a time and re-evaluate. You have a big rush, with craft shows and such (if you are doing that), then a rush to get all packages mailed. Then it stops. And the next two months are slow, giving you time to breathe and possibly make plans for next year.
That's where I am. Trying to figure out where I want this to go. And what products I want to market. And always taking more pictures...
I didn't tell you guys this, but I entered some photos into contests the other day. National Geographic and Smithsonian. I'm hoping for the best, and I will check the emails today to see when I may get some results (or feedback). I take pictures just about every day. And I want to market them. But I need to figure out how.
I hope that everyone's re-evaluations are totally rewarding. Honestly, I think that even if you're not a crafter that the "downtime" around the first of the year always leads to introspection. It always has for me.
I will be turning 37 soon. In 21 days. I absolutely love my birthday... maybe I will have a giveaway. And I am a big New Year's Resolutions writer... I usually have at least a dozen. Perhaps it's time to start thinking about that... they all tie together, afterall.
Posted by Robynsart at 4:41 AM
Monday, December 8, 2008
What an amazing weekend it's been! Satur day we went to the Saturday Market and walking through Portland. I got a lot of architectural photos. Sunday we went to Newport to the Oregon Coast Aquarium. Both days were rewarding in their own right. This photo is from one of our malls. I loved how the clouds looked through the skylight.
The trip to the aquarium was different than the time we went before. I had my camera in hand this time! We stopped a couple of times along the drive (if I had stopped at every beautiful photo opportunity, we could have been on that road for weeks!), and I took so many pictures while at the aquarium.
We also strolled around the waterfront and went into many of the shops. Some would be wonderful homes to my journals, so I brought home business cards to contact them about selling my journals through there. I have been trying to get together a marketing plan for the coming year. And if any of you have affordable framing suggestions for my photos, I'd love to hear them!
Today a friend is coming to work to pick up her custom made journal, and to look over my others for gift ideas. I'm so excited that my journals will be given as gifts to so many people this Christmas!
Posted by Robynsart at 4:49 AM
Friday, December 5, 2008
Posted by Robynsart at 4:46 AM
Thursday, December 4, 2008
This is a picture I took of the Portland waterfront at night. I love the stretchy reflections of the night. Really this setting should be done on a tripod, then it would have been a little crisper, but next time.
I've always been interested in photography. And I've never been happy with my photographs. In the past, I was easily discouraged. Very easily. Not so much now. I take hundreds of photos a week, and digital cameras have helped with that!!
Some of the photos I take are pure crap. But a lot are very good. I am not willing to delete all the bad ones, because I could use them to practice photoshop on. But life for me these days is about trying things. Photoshop, as far as I'm concerned, may as well be in Hindu. I can't get it. But I am looking for tutorials, and someone said you can find how-to's for it on youtube... In the meantime, I'm figuring out a really awesome program called Irfanview. It's free, and it can do a lot of things photoshop can do, in a way easier format.
I had no clue even a year ago that I would now be taking picture after picture of trees. And moss, leaves, mushrooms. I'm a frugal person, and in the film realm (where you actually had to take the roll to get developed), you didn't play with a camera. You captured family. Necessary pictures to mark the passing of time. But again... the digital world is different. I am so thankful for technology!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
So... I did not celebrate Thanksgiving this year. My husband worked an early shift at work, I created journals, and we met family at a restaurant that night. It was liberating to not do the whole meal thing. And it was relaxing. But now I'm discombobulated. I'm out of sorts. The Thanksgiving celebration is a time marker. And it did not occur, so it certainly does not feel like December now. I do not feel festive.
A few other things are different this year... normally by now I've been slaving in the kitchen over jams and cakes in a jar for a month, getting ready gift baskets. This year, I'm going a different route with gifts. So... I'm missing out on a month of preparing. Good for me, but now I'm down one more time marker. Strange.
My dad sent me some of his photos yesterday. They are amazing. So perhaps next week, I will have a week of Dad's photos... or maybe I'll use one of his photos one day a week... I'll figure something out.
I've been struggling this year with depression... I think it stemmed from my thyroid biopsy. When it was painful to talk. My not wanting to talk to anyone has not gone away. I don't want to go anywhere, I don't want to answer my phone. I especially don't want to be in groups. I think I must work on this. It's not good for me. So.... always work to do...
A poll of sorts: would you rather I use all dads photos all in a row, or have like Dad Wednesday every week?
Posted by Robynsart at 4:39 AM
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
I have a problem with patience. I hate waiting. I simply have no patience. And that fact really bothers me. It's such a contradiction. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that each step of the journey makes us who we are. So necessary. But I hate it!
Since I set up my Etsy shop, I've realized over and over that I have a big problem with patience. Things never happen fast enough for me. I need to breathe. I need to slow down and realize what this part is teaching me. I need to be thankful for each and every moment, and realize it's leading up to something wonderful.
I lament to my sister in law... 'Patience' she tells me. She can see what I am doing, and she knows that I need to learn this very valuable lesson. I'm so thankful for her reminders. And for her patience with me.
Posted by Robynsart at 5:30 AM
"This blog invests and believes in PROXIMITY, nearness in space and time of relationships. These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find friends and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers."
Melissa awarded me with this award yesterday! I cannot tell you how deeply touched I was to receive it! This blog started as a way for me to put my feelings into words. I am not a touchy-feely kind of person... but I am a very contemplative person. So I began... what it became was a spiderweb of friends and soul connections. I could have never dreamed that I would become close to so many people that I've never met.
I put things on here that I would not necessarily talk about with people in my life. I expose myself, work through things. Give my views. And my online friends come and they read, just as I read their words. And we connect. On such a deep level. My heart swells when I think of it.
Thank you Melissa!! Here's a big ol' cyber hug headed your way!!! (((((HUG)))))
Now... I am a little unclear to how many people I can award this to, but here I go!
Posted by Robynsart at 4:57 AM
Monday, December 1, 2008
This past holiday weekend was filled with small wonderful moments. I went out a couple of mornings to explore and take pictures. I found a new local park, a pet cemetary, a railroad bridge. I hiked. I had alone time. Life was fabulous!
Oh, I got my first etsy sale too! And I got several sales offline as well. I am pretty mesmerized with life right now. I'm making plans to market my journals after the holidays. To get established for next year. I feel like I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now.
Sometimes, when talking to friends or family... I hear myself saying the most profound things. Then my inner voice is like "Whoa! Where did that come from?" And I just smile. I don't know where it came from... but I'm happy it's here.
Life is good... can't even describe all the ways. My camera I got recently has been amazing for me. It makes me get up and get out of the house. It encourages me to hike and explore. It pushes me to take better photographs. It makes me want to show people the things I have seen. One little digital camera, given to me at the right moment... life changing!
The tree above was in a cemetary. Taken on Saturday. I loved this tree! I also took a picture on Sunday at a really old cemetary. A small slab that said "Grave". It cracked me up! There was a headstone marking the grave, but this was marking the foot area. I had to snap a pic!
Back to work today, and I don't want to go! I want to go explore or make journals. Oh well.
Posted by Robynsart at 4:31 AM
Friday, November 28, 2008
I recently read an article about gratitude. It suggested that not only does gratitude increase self esteem, but it also improves your health and helps you cope better with past traumatic events.
I do a lot to feel gratitude. It's part of most every project I do. The Artist's Way, 100 days, it's honestly in every day of my life. It has not always been this way though. I used to have the "why me" complex. Felt like everyone and everything was against me. Like I was oh so important that everyone would be focused in on me... in a bad way. I did not consciously change that thinking. I just began to express and feel gratitude and it washed away. Pretty cool.
I work with a person who is totally focused on himself. Nothing goes his way and it's all a complete conspiracy. I can't even imagine how deeply miserable he is. It's very frustrating for me to even hold a conversation with him, and after months of trying to get him to see all that is good, I have given up. I do not let him bring me down. I simply stay away.
I think that sometimes we have to put up these barriers. I let in those that are good at their core (not to say they don't have trials), and those that are nowhere near where I want to be emotionally-- I shut them out. In the Christian religion, it's stated that two of the same beliefs shall be yoked together... basically that if your belief is strong, do not closely tie yourself with a nonbeliever or they will drag you down. I am not a religious person, but I am totally down with that concept.
I recently have grown very close to my sister in law. Our religious beliefs vary greatly, but our spiritual and emotional beliefs mesh completely. In her, I have found a friend, a sister, almost as if we share the same soul at times. I am grateful to my brother every day for bringing her into my life. And I am grateful for the little things... text messages, cell phone call plans, snail mail, every possible way I could communicate with her. Not a day goes by that we do not make contact.
I hope that we can all feel gratitude. That we allow ourselves to relish the joy in our lives, and to be grateful for little things when the big picture is not perfect.
Posted by Robynsart at 7:28 AM
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Posted by Robynsart at 9:46 PM
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
This picture was taken at Koch Farm in Tualatin. The farm was homesteaded in 1938. And last year they sold out for an industrial complex. We always went there for u-pick berries and flowers. I called the owner on Saturday and asked if I could take pictures, as they had recently all moved out and started a new farm about 15 miles away. I took about 30 pictures of the old farmhouse, the trees, their barns, their old equipment, and of 2 cows that for now remain. Being there, in total silence, reminded me that life is about change.
When I first heard about the sale, I could not understand how they could just sell out and move. They had made that land what it was. They had been there for generations. This was their history and their life. After I took pictures, and walked around, I was not so upset about it. I know some of the members of the Koch family, but not very well. They picked a plot of land, and for the most part all still live on it. Their location changed. Their livelihood did not. They set up shop on their new land and have crops ready... corn, green beans.
I was not present for the process, but I've only heard positive remarks from the Koch family members. They have chosen to embrace change. Make the best of whatever comes their way. I listened while I took pictures. I learned from this family that occupied the land no more.
Change is ok. Change is necessary. When change occurs you can embrace it or fight it. They chose to embrace it and go on with life. If only we could all be so graceful in life...
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
I wonder where these tracks go... I am sure they lead to someplace magical. I have always had a need to get away. To escape my present reality, if even for a day.
My ex mother in law understood this, and every so often we would run away. We had responsibilities, so it would take planning, but we would pick an area and off we would go. One time we went to the Oregon Coast. We saw tons of covered bridges on the way, explored new restaurants. And we wrote in travel journals. Inner exploration has always been a necessary component of running away for me. Last time I saw her she brought up that travel journal. She had written "I'm writing in this because Robyn said I have to!" but she wrote... and she can recall her feelings easily during that journey.
Another trip, we went to Sisters. Sisters is a cute little tourist town in Oregon. We happened upon this motel called the Tom Tom Motel. It looked like a total dive... "I am not staying at the Tom Tom" I had told her. But the price was right, so we did. It turned out to be the most magical place! Each room was decorated differently, ours was all fish, and it even had an aquarium in the room! The owner also served us breakfast in our room each morning we were there. They had a lovely courtyard area with a bench swing and flowers. I've never been back, but I remember it fondly.
I don't need to stay gone long. But I do need to explore, to take chances. My body, my soul, is yearning for such a trip right now. I went alone and explored both weekend days last week, but it was only for a couple of hours. Not long enough to recharge. No planned destination, or perhaps just a general area.
My first husband was Air Force. We moved every 6 months to 2 years. I did very well in that environment. Perhaps I am a traveler. I get stagnant if I sit still for long. I need to plan a solitary trip!
Posted by Robynsart at 4:43 AM
Monday, November 24, 2008
Posted by Robynsart at 5:12 AM
Posted by Robynsart at 4:48 AM