Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Random Thoughts

So... I did not celebrate Thanksgiving this year. My husband worked an early shift at work, I created journals, and we met family at a restaurant that night. It was liberating to not do the whole meal thing. And it was relaxing. But now I'm discombobulated. I'm out of sorts. The Thanksgiving celebration is a time marker. And it did not occur, so it certainly does not feel like December now. I do not feel festive.

A few other things are different this year... normally by now I've been slaving in the kitchen over jams and cakes in a jar for a month, getting ready gift baskets. This year, I'm going a different route with gifts. So... I'm missing out on a month of preparing. Good for me, but now I'm down one more time marker. Strange.

My dad sent me some of his photos yesterday. They are amazing. So perhaps next week, I will have a week of Dad's photos... or maybe I'll use one of his photos one day a week... I'll figure something out.

I've been struggling this year with depression... I think it stemmed from my thyroid biopsy. When it was painful to talk. My not wanting to talk to anyone has not gone away. I don't want to go anywhere, I don't want to answer my phone. I especially don't want to be in groups. I think I must work on this. It's not good for me. So.... always work to do...

A poll of sorts: would you rather I use all dads photos all in a row, or have like Dad Wednesday every week?


Connie said...

Maybe this is a new phase of your life...and you should embrace it, rather then get depressed that it no longer looks the same as it once did.

Years ago, when I lived in Cleveland I was the belle of the ball so to say--basically because I was a bartender in a very popular hang out. I always had a crowd around me and a plethera of things to talk about.

I moved to Phoenix, and still have no more then one or two friends. It was a tough transition. But funny, I had the same worries as you...that I better get out there and make friends and do things...but all I wanted to do was stay in my studio, hang out with Hansel, not answer my phone, practice YOga, and hike. But my worry that I should have loads of souls around me still persisted, until my Reiki friend said to me:

"What's wrong staying in the studio, hanging out with Hansel, not answering the phone, practicing Yoga, and hiking?"

It occurred to me at that second...I entered a new phase of life...and since then I've embraced it and never felt guilty or apologized for turning down a social offer.


Peace & Love.

Geoff Schutt said...

Hello Robyn,

I agree with Connie's comment. A lot of good advice and wisdom there.

Ultimately, as long as you're "talking to us" or to "somebody," you're doing okay. We can help ease the depression by being good listeners, and letting you know that we're here for you, and whatever else you may need.

IMPORTANT: What works for you IS -- "what works for you" ... and that's all you should be concerned with right now. I'm echoing Connie here again. But these are good thoughts and truth.

Please, please -- Be kind to yourself -- you deserve it!
... Geoff (and Eleanor)

Anonymous said...

Ditto- some wise people hanging around here!
Know you have us out here- and know you are awesome! No guilt- enjoy yourself.
Do me a favor- email me your mailing address.

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