My Doctor Appointment

New insurance. New doctor. And I told her I'm a bad patient... I don't like going to the doctor... not one bit. I go only when I have to.

So, bad patient.

I only went in to establish with that doctor since it's new insurance and I had to jump through hoops. But I really liked her.

We did some talking and figured out that I've had chronic headaches for at least the last 20 years. Wow, I'm old! So, now I'm on some preventative maintenance for that. And on some stuff for PMS... those around me will be thankful for that!

I left there very hopeful.

New Question and Answer session with Jupiter

Me: How do I know how to fix the current situation?

Jupiter: Be Who You Actually Are

yep... 'nuff said.

So... I posted a promise to finish projects. I also said I'd put up a list of my inspirational bloggers that get me through the day. The links may have to wait a week. But I have been finishing. I'm not so good at putting pics online, so that part is not done. And some of my completed projects can't just be photo'd and put on here. Only the one painting, which will be a gift to my stepsister. I made 2 scrapbooks this weekend, also as gifts.

And this will be another whirlwind week. We're leaving for Utah as soon as I get off work on Thursday. And we'll come back Monday. So... life is busy.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about many aspects of my life. And some major changes need to happen. Some, maybe not til after the holidays. But I've done a lot of soul-searching. Many times wondering how I get myself in such odd circumstances, and now having to figure out how to claw my way out. I'll get there. It won't be easy. I think I will need to start journaling again... the Artist's Way always helps me. Recently, I've also withdrawn from my best girlfriend, GG... I need to get back on track with her. One part of my life is wonderful, and for that I'm thankful. Now to figure out how to get that to the center of my life and move all the bad away.

I also recently read 'The Secret' and must start applying that. So many things. Little things really, and I just need to dive in. Dipping my toes in and testing the water is generally not the best route for me. Too much time to think and talk myself out of it. I need to jump. One thing at a time, though...

I know I'm not making sense and I'm sorry... this is as clear as I can be for now.

So much to do

My funk has passed... and I am getting back to where life is magical again. This week will be busy, because for Labor day weekend we'll be visiting my dad again and I have projects that MUST be finished prior to the trip. I will be busy. So... taking my herbs, drinking tea, committed go great self-care... and getting it done.

I must say I've "met" some amazing people online, mostly through blogs. I will update my links soon so I can show all those I gather encouragement from...

The roller coaster

Man I have had a lot of emotional ups and downs lately. And right now I am down. I took my boys back to their dad yesterday and in the past it has always been ok, but this time I am an emotional wreck. I connected with them in ways that I have never done before (as people... real people, not children). After I dropped them off I sobbed and sobbed. I know they cherished our time as much as I did. And I also know they cherish their life with their dad. And he's an excellent dad. So it's not as if I'm sending them to a bad place. It's all good. But I miss them so much.

Added to this, I feel like a fraud. I don't feel the creative juices. I just feel sad. So many challenges out there, the 'be brave' challenge, the 'creative every day' challenge. And I want to embrace them. I really do.

But I know me... and I need to clear the air as it were... I need to take a little time, lick my wounds, get grounded, then be off to a running start.

A link to SARK's kitty, Jupiter

http://www.planetsark.com/studio_ask_jupiter.htm

I need to ponder this

So... I was surfing the internet today. And on SARK's website there was this cute little kitty. You ask it a question, then click on it and it gives you your answer. Like a magic 8 ball. So........ here's what happened:

I asked:
"When will I be able to follow my bliss?" meaning, pursue my writing and art and start living the life I truly want to live...

It responded with:
"QUIT"