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Monday, August 18, 2008

The roller coaster

Man I have had a lot of emotional ups and downs lately. And right now I am down. I took my boys back to their dad yesterday and in the past it has always been ok, but this time I am an emotional wreck. I connected with them in ways that I have never done before (as people... real people, not children). After I dropped them off I sobbed and sobbed. I know they cherished our time as much as I did. And I also know they cherish their life with their dad. And he's an excellent dad. So it's not as if I'm sending them to a bad place. It's all good. But I miss them so much.

Added to this, I feel like a fraud. I don't feel the creative juices. I just feel sad. So many challenges out there, the 'be brave' challenge, the 'creative every day' challenge. And I want to embrace them. I really do.

But I know me... and I need to clear the air as it were... I need to take a little time, lick my wounds, get grounded, then be off to a running start.

3 comments:

Geoff Schutt said...

Robyn,

You'll never be a "fraud." Sometimes, as you suggest, the creative juices just need some time to rest, as do you. The "artist" part of you is very real, and will stay alive and well, and will be gathering up steam for when you're ready. Be kind to yourself!

Geoff & Eleanor

Robin said...

Hey Robyn, thanks for your kind words on my blog. I think the energy in the universe has been wild lately and I have had my own ups and downs.... you are not alone. Maybe you will get some inspiration out of it.... often the best art comes out of making sense of the bad times :)

Leah said...

I think everyone has those feelings of being a fraud (me too!) I think the best thing you can do is not beat yourself up, treat yourself gently, and take baby steps. (((hugs)))

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