Friday, May 23, 2008

Life... as we know it

My dad is in the hospital again. Apparently he still has pneumonia. I spoke to him this morning and asked him to please stay in long enough for them to help him. Last time he was in he stayed one day and he didn't get rid of the pneumonia.

He has black lung, osteoporosis, COPD. He has assured me that he will stay alive long enough to see me in July... but I am wise enough to know that he can't guarantee that.

A little background... my parents divorced right after I was born. I never lived with my dad... he lives in Utah, I grew up in South Texas. We never had a fight, just never really talked. Years and years went by with no contact. I saw him at my mom's funeral when I was 14. I saw him again when I was 16. Then a handful of other times in my life. Neither of us did anything to keep in touch with one another... not due to hurt feelings or bad relations... we just didn't contact one another.

But... now I'm 36, and I'd like to think much wiser. I ended my call to him this morning with "I love you" and he said it too. That was nice. My brother will keep me posted and if dad does not improve, I will fly there to see him. However, I would prefer to see him in July with my entire family. My children need to meet their grandpa. I am smart enough to know that he is not long for this world. And, I could beat myself up for not having a relationship with him before recently. The past can't be changed. But now... we have what time we have. If I get brave enough, I will post a poem that I wrote for my dad a few years ago.


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