My Pilgrimage Home

Tonight we embark on our trip to Utah. It is a pilgrimage home... I am so excited, and nervous... I am not quite sure, but I don't think I've seen my dad for about 10 years. Independent me... not needing anyone, at any time. It is what it is... and it's in the past. I can't regret it. What I can do is move forward. It occurs to me that I am such a stubborn woman. Or child. Both apply.

Now my dad and I have a great relationship, and my trip will be full of opportunities. Chances to deepen my relationship with my dad. And my brothers. And opportunities to meet my neices and nephews. Including my sister, Lynda's son. He is 18 and I have not seen him since he was a toddler. Due to the circumstances surrounding his mother (her drug use, and no contact), I feel like a surrogate in a way. I hope that he and I connect. I hope that I can reach out to him in some way that will enrich both of our lives. I lived the life of not having a mother. And, though I would never try (and I never could) replace her, I'd like to have some role in his life.

Tonight the journey begins. I am so excited!