Sunday, March 29, 2009

Ode to REM

REM has a, song that says 'It's the end of the World as we know it and I feel fine'. That one line comepletely sums up life for me. Every moment, every breath, changes life completely. We can never go back... we don't have an undo button.

A child is born. That's the end of the world as you know it. A friend dies. The world changes. The difficulty in life is accepting it with grace, and moving forward. We as mere humans cannot see what's around the next bend. There is a saying that when God closes a door he opens a window. Not going into my religious beliefs, just saying that there is a saying. Grace helps us to handle a situation, knowing that it will change again soon.

Buddhists have 2 main beliefs. Life is hard. Life is ever-changing. I believe those two statements encompass everything. Yes, there are times where all seems hopeless, but wait a minute and it will change again. I think that's why I view this economy the way I do.

I have moments in my past that shaped me. Moving in with grandparents when my mom was ill, my mom's death, my divorce. My children's births. Not in that order ;-). Each and every one made me who I am. And when I'm 80, I will be miles and miles away from who I am right now, because it's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.

I just have to remember to handle each obstacle with grace. Had my ex and I chosen to stay in war mode when the marriage ended, our children would still be suffering today. Instead, they now have four parents that love them greatly. My dad said something one time that stuck with me. He said he has no problem with any of his exes because he obviously loved them at some point. And now, instead of an enemy for life, I have a friend in my ex. Not someone I confide in every day, or even every month. But someone I can co-parent with, and who I can discuss our children with at any time. But oh how it could be different.

Don't get me wrong, I've had things that I have not handled with grace. They grew, and festered, and spilled their toxicity into other parts of my life. Even those, at this point though, are fine now that amends have been made. Sometimes you have to suck it up and admit you were wrong. Handled with grace, even that is do-able.

So... thank you REM, for giving me a catchy tune for applying to my life. Are there any guidelines you use in your life? Anything derived from pop culture?


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