So, I have two impending interviews... I mentioned that the other day. I've had the questions for both for a bit now.... and I haven't been able to answer and return them. So, of course I've been doing some soul-searching to find out why.
I compartmentalize. People at work know certain things about me and not others. Same with people online. Each section of my life is put into a little box, and only brought out when needed. In the coming weeks, the fam and I will be going over to an online friends house to learn how to fuse glass. It's a crossing over. I'm a bit uncomfortable with crossing over. Oh I'll do it and I'll have fun... but my initial reaction is that I don't want to open that box.
Years and years ago, I wrote an online newspaper column. I can't say it was a job because I never got paid. The guy was a major flake. But, I went on a trip to Corpus Christi, TX, where I was raised. I had been chatting in the local chatroom there and had planned to meet a dozen people while on my trip. And of course, I was going to write about it. Out of those dozen people, one was the same in real life as she was on there. The others had grossly misrepresented themselves.
I don't want to be one of the 11. I don't want to be disingenuine. But I'm also very comfortable with my boxes. So I've taken a deep breath. I will answer the questions today, to the best of my ability, and send them out there. The two ladies who will be posting the interviews each seem like amazing individuals and it will all be ok.
That's not really the point though... as a general rule, when you put yourself out there it ends up being ok. Well, it does for me anyway. I don't have anxiety about putting myself out there, it's just those damn boxes. Which ones do I open and show you? Which ones are messy inside? Which ones are jam-packed with treasures? I think we are about to find out.
I compartmentalize. People at work know certain things about me and not others. Same with people online. Each section of my life is put into a little box, and only brought out when needed. In the coming weeks, the fam and I will be going over to an online friends house to learn how to fuse glass. It's a crossing over. I'm a bit uncomfortable with crossing over. Oh I'll do it and I'll have fun... but my initial reaction is that I don't want to open that box.
Years and years ago, I wrote an online newspaper column. I can't say it was a job because I never got paid. The guy was a major flake. But, I went on a trip to Corpus Christi, TX, where I was raised. I had been chatting in the local chatroom there and had planned to meet a dozen people while on my trip. And of course, I was going to write about it. Out of those dozen people, one was the same in real life as she was on there. The others had grossly misrepresented themselves.
I don't want to be one of the 11. I don't want to be disingenuine. But I'm also very comfortable with my boxes. So I've taken a deep breath. I will answer the questions today, to the best of my ability, and send them out there. The two ladies who will be posting the interviews each seem like amazing individuals and it will all be ok.
That's not really the point though... as a general rule, when you put yourself out there it ends up being ok. Well, it does for me anyway. I don't have anxiety about putting myself out there, it's just those damn boxes. Which ones do I open and show you? Which ones are messy inside? Which ones are jam-packed with treasures? I think we are about to find out.
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3 comments:
Those boxes are ok to have, if everyone knew everything you wouldn't have anything left to learn about. *wink I understand where you're coming from though.
Aw Robyn, I really do understand! It is hard to let yourself feel comfortable enough to exposure yourself so completely to someone you really don't know! :D That is why I always tell my online friends that I am happy with whatever they choose to share with me :).
Robyn, You are such a loving & giving person. I don't think you have any idea. It always hasn't been easy for you & I, because I am the one uncomfortable with strangers. You have always stood back, let me appologize, and never held any grudges (that I know of). It has made our relationship stronger I think. It isnt easy being the Step-Mother of someone with so much talent! Believe me If you find somwone without baggage I sure would like to meet them. We ALL have it babe and that's what makes you unique. I Love You and Thank You for helping me grow into a better Step-Mother. I hope I have done that anyways.LOL No one is going to look at you any differently, if they do, they weren't truly your friends.
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