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Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Overcoming Anger


I give 100%, generally. Maybe 75% when I'm ill. I expect the same from others. I don't get that from anyone else. And it makes me so angry! It does not change anyone elses response, it just makes me angry.

I don't like to feel angry much of the time. I want to do the things I do... work, run an online business, do stuff around the house, and have others pull their own weight as well. But I've learned that I can't control anyone but me. And that sucks!!!

So how will I deal with the anger and bitterness swirling inside me? I will use it as a catalyst for change, if things remain the same... but in the meantime, I need to deal with ME.

I need to breathe. I need to meditate. I need to lose myself in the things that bring me joy... which means of course never actually losing myself, but immersing. Tonight when I get off work, I will make some journals and list them. I will sort through my photos and see which of those I'd like to list. Perhaps I will email some old friends, and I will package up some orders to mail out. I'll peck away at the chores as well.

What I won't do. I won't yell. I won't get angry. I will take care of me. Perhaps I'll even enjoy a soak in the tub!!

How do you take care of YOU? How do you deal with anger?

5 comments:

Avlor said...

Robyn, accepting that you can't control others is a huge step. Good for you.

I'm learning to pick my fights on the issues that are about safety, health, etc. Only the big ones. How I approach people about what I want them to do (i.e. kids picking up rooms) really makes a difference too. Natural consequences are a help too. (room not clean? Oh - I'm sorry you can't go play.) Helping people change (others and ourselves) takes time.

Stepping away like you do and immersing myself in something I like to do really helps calm me down. I'm also SLOWLY learning to not focus on the negative things, unless I can do something.

Hopefully those bits will be of some help. But you probably knew them already.

a hope filled hug to you.

BrigaBauble said...

I admire both you and Amy, Robyn, for your ability to deal actively and rationally with your anger. When I was a kid, I had serious anger management issues--to the point that I frightened myself (and my older sister), though I managed to control my eruptions in the presence of my parents. I started to gain better control over my anger when I joined the workforce out of college due to necessity.

But I'd have to say that it wasn't until I was in my mid- to late-twenties that I really began to find strategies beyond bottling it up. And, since I've gotten so deeply into various forms of crafting, etc., I too have found that I can step away and re-align my focus on something more productive.

But, there are definitely days (especially at work) when nothing but going for a walk and uttering every curse word and combination thereof helps me calm down. :)

http://BrigaBauble.blogspot.com

Natasha said...

Realizing that we can't control others is such a har lesson to learn...I find it especially as a Mom...I have a little one that I'm trying to raise but she is also uniquely her and I need to find that balance with the role I play in her life...giving guidelines while also letting her be her...it's hard. It's hard in relationships when you want or need things others just don't seem to give unless you ask them...why can't they be mind readers. But it's good to let go of all thosoe ideas as well as the anger...anger, I let it out. I let it all out because otherwise it festers. I try not to yell but don't always succeed at that...I do try to talk and I write it out...

You are on an amazing path...thanks for letting me share in the journey hugs to you

Natasha said...

Wait...I got so wrapped up in responding that I forgot to tell you that I gave you an award...the Honest Scrap Award....you deserve it ...can't wait to read what you write....

It's on my blog for you hugs!

quiltnut60 said...

My anger doesn't come out. It just builds up and causes migraines and physical pain. You were a good help last night when I was in a horrible mood and in pain. Thank you for that!!
xoxo

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