Authenticity

Years ago I was writing a column on an internet newspaper. My column was about the internet and one was about chat programs and people's actions. I was a daily user of a chat from my hometown newspaper. I lived in Alaska, but my hometown was Corpus Christi, Texas. I made a lot of friends there, and eventually planned to meet everyone when I went home.

I met probably a dozen people. I was stunned. Only one was how she portrayed herself online. Everyone else was remarkably different in person. I used the experience for an article, and I lost a lot of 'friends' when they read that article. In hindsight, I realize the internet is a lot like the first day at a new school. It's a blank slate and you can be anyone that you could possibly want to be. You can create different user names for different situations, and try on new personas. How awesome is that?

As I get older, though. I want authenticity in my life. I don't feel the need to try on different masks because I've really grown to like myself. I think about my different situations... I am the same person at ESL as I am at work. I am the same on girls night as I am other times. Not necessarily the same at home as those other places, but I've always thought certain things should stay at home and that home is where you can fully remove all masks and let your hair down.

When I was trying to market myself as a painter, it was difficult. I was unsure of who I was in that situation and saw it as an opportunity to create myself. It didn't work out very well. If I were trying to market myself today... as an artist, writer, etc. I am sure that I could do it right. I am comfortable in my skin. Comfortable in my abilities. And I have attained at least some level of authenticity.