Starting today

Today I did things a little differently... I checked for my friends' blog updates before I began posting. I never do it in that order... but I went to Connie's blog at www.dirtyfootprints.blogspot.com and I read her wisdom first.

Wow. That's what I can say about her insight today. She wrote about fear. And she always writes in such a way that it delves down to my soul. What is holding me back? What am I fearful of? I once told an old friend that I am afraid of success. That I know how to fail, but success scares me. He said that was a trite statement and sounded like some mumbo-jumbo that you'd hear on Oprah. Tact. :-) So... what am I afraid of?

I am somewhat afraid of letting people in. I've created a wall, a barricade... and I have had people abuse the fact that I've exposed my soul to them before. So... I am tough and I don't need anyone. But where is THAT particular fear getting me? Nowhere!

I am afraid to look at my check each week. Afraid that I didn't contribute enough, but I work around 50 hours a week. That's a totally ridiculous fear. They both are so far. Yes, I said it, fear you are ridiculous!

I am putting myself out there on Etsy, and in the past, I've had fear about my work being accepted. So happy to report now that I do NOT have that particular fear. One difference being that I had researched possible venues for my work and Etsy seems to be a very nurturing community. One where people are accepting, encouraging, even loving. And one that I will fit into.

I am afraid about the economy... but all that matters is my little corner of the world. And truthfully, I have felt riches beyond my greatest imaginings lately. So, no stress about what's going on out there.

I feel fear about buying a house, but wait... that fear is put on me... it's not my own. My mind is telling me 'we always have everything we need'... and if there's a house in my near future, then it will be.

I will meditate more on this as time goes on... and try to get to the bottom of all of my fear. I do not want it... I need to exorcise it.

The funny thing about fear is that once each issue is dealt with, fear moves out... and our little friend called 'peace' moves right in!