Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Starting today

Today I did things a little differently... I checked for my friends' blog updates before I began posting. I never do it in that order... but I went to Connie's blog at and I read her wisdom first.

Wow. That's what I can say about her insight today. She wrote about fear. And she always writes in such a way that it delves down to my soul. What is holding me back? What am I fearful of? I once told an old friend that I am afraid of success. That I know how to fail, but success scares me. He said that was a trite statement and sounded like some mumbo-jumbo that you'd hear on Oprah. Tact. :-) So... what am I afraid of?

I am somewhat afraid of letting people in. I've created a wall, a barricade... and I have had people abuse the fact that I've exposed my soul to them before. So... I am tough and I don't need anyone. But where is THAT particular fear getting me? Nowhere!

I am afraid to look at my check each week. Afraid that I didn't contribute enough, but I work around 50 hours a week. That's a totally ridiculous fear. They both are so far. Yes, I said it, fear you are ridiculous!

I am putting myself out there on Etsy, and in the past, I've had fear about my work being accepted. So happy to report now that I do NOT have that particular fear. One difference being that I had researched possible venues for my work and Etsy seems to be a very nurturing community. One where people are accepting, encouraging, even loving. And one that I will fit into.

I am afraid about the economy... but all that matters is my little corner of the world. And truthfully, I have felt riches beyond my greatest imaginings lately. So, no stress about what's going on out there.

I feel fear about buying a house, but wait... that fear is put on me... it's not my own. My mind is telling me 'we always have everything we need'... and if there's a house in my near future, then it will be.

I will meditate more on this as time goes on... and try to get to the bottom of all of my fear. I do not want it... I need to exorcise it.

The funny thing about fear is that once each issue is dealt with, fear moves out... and our little friend called 'peace' moves right in!


Connie said...

Wow Robyn, that was a very BRAVE post. Very brave.

We forget how brave we are. Let's both try to publish a post on how brave we are. Less focus on the fear--more on our strengths!

Peace & Love.

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