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Friday, March 5, 2010

My Mind...



Today I am tired. This week has been jam packed. And it's Friday, that's a good thing, but the entire weekend will be spent moving. When we were in Utah, a bunch of Dad's photos were put on my laptop. I have not been able to go through them yet, I plan to fully take my time.

I don't think I've shared on here before... I keep thinking of putting my Dad's photos into a book, and have it printed at least for all of his children and his wife. The title I always think of? Through My Father's Eyes. I had thought of this prior to his death, and had planned to send him a copy. But now the title haunts me because Dad was a cornea donor. I wonder if the recipient is now taking photos... I wonder how much Dad's gift changed his/her life... And I wonder if they wonder whose corneas they have... what stories they may hold.

My mind never stops. The other night my mind seemed to be spinning out of control, and all of a sudden, it's like a wall was lifted and I found out my Dad had died. I started having a panic attack. I had to breathe deep for awhile, then meditated to clear my mind. Such things suprise me.

The above photo is one of Dad's. One that he had sent me last year. As I sort through his pictures, you know I will share.

5 comments:

TheHappySoul said...

((((((((((SIS)))))))))))) I think the photo book is a fantastic idea! I would also entertain the thought of maybe seeing if you can find out who received your dad's donation, and maybe send them a copy too? I bet they are extremely grateful, and would love to see what those eyes have seen before! Just a thought. I think that you should stick with the same title... it was titled before Dad's donation, and so I think it was meant to be. The emotional roller coaster isn't going to stop any time soon, but rest assured that the ups and down will become less drastic. It's totally normal, and you need to be sure to take the time to breathe. I promise it does get easier.

*hugs*

Mary said...

Robyn,

Your Dad was a very talented man. I love that photo. Beautiful.

You are doing great, my friend. There will be times when it does hit you like a brick wall, but I know you will get through them with such a positive attitude.

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs,
Mary

Aisha said...

I love that title! And I think that it IS especially appropriate because your Dad's gift of sight of someone else...just think, his eyes are still seeing, their work wasn't done yet! And I hope that what his eyes see, his spirit feels. This worls is beautiful...looking at the picture that your dad took, he knew that. Hang in there, my dear friend, you're going to be fine.

Love, Hugs, and Prayers,
Aisha

lostsentiments said...

((((((((((Robyn)))))))))

Donation or no donation - the title is wonderfully fitting! Your dad saw those pictures he took through the eyes of his soul too love - he drank in the scenes and feasted on all the richness of colors and sceneries... what a blessing to pass on the gift of what his eye has seen Robyn. He will continue to inspire and arouse ideas in others through his photos - that is every exciting! :)

Be patient with yourself love, even in broken relationships when one is greiving, the thought that the other is gone is overwhelming and unbareable at times. I remember a time mysel fI was curled up in a ball on the kitchen floor sobbing and screaming, both my mother and my sister were there. Mom was smart, she said, "don't touch her" to my sister wanting to intervene witht he struggle I was going through within. There are people outwardly who can and will help you, but it's the internal process you will in essence go through alone... but not in vain love. Many sweet moments will make their way into your life during this time as well... the despairing feelings are only for a season love... this too shall pass Robyn, this too shall pass.

(((((((((((((Robyn)))))))))))))

Got It From My Mama said...

I think it would be a great idea to put your dads photos into a book to be able to pass on and cherish and I am sure it would help you immensely. There is no right or wrong way to grieve you are doing amazing.

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