I am the youngest of 5 kids. I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters. I talk a lot about Dad. But here's a picture of my mom. My mom was diagnosed with MS when I was 4. She passed away when I was 14.
I have heard lots of stories about Mom. About how she was always bringing people home for holidays, barbecues, etc. She (like me) liked to feed the masses. Good food, and time with family was always something she had to offer. I've also heard stories about how she would color her hair green for St. Patrick's Day. And she would make green pancakes.
I don't remember these things because she was completely bedridden by the time I was 9. I was a caregiver. I learned so much through it though. I learned the basics. How to feed through a feeding tube, how to give a sponge bath, how to cut hair. How to have conversations with someone who only responds by blinking or smiling. How to be responsible.
If I could go back in time, I'd go back to Dad and Mom's wooing period. I'd see why they fell in love, and see each of them in their best light for that time. I'd see my Mom as a dancing bride, and my Dad as a proud Navy man.
Perhaps that's how they both are now... whole and happy. No health issues, no silliness. Don't get me wrong, I know that if there is a heaven then my stepmom is there too, but the love would matter, not in the way it does here. Maybe that doesn't make sense. Dad once told me once that he would never speak ill of any of his exes because obviously at one time he loved them. And, as far as I know, he never did. Another lesson from Dad.