Random Thoughts

My life is going to be very busy, yet amazingly rewarding for the next week. It's spring break and I will be getting in some good quality time with my boys! Hopefully Nicolas and I will fit in lots of opportunities to take photos. I haven't had my camera out for any real photos since Dad died. It is time to change that!

I'm also going to be in charge of a thread on Etsy for the weekend because our list manager is taking a short break. I am a little nervous, but I know this group of people and if I screw up, they'll not only let me know, but they'll also be ok when I fix it and they'll still love me. So, that will be ok.

I must get photos ordered today for my coffee shop. Also, I need to contact the gentleman in charge of the all photography show. I dropped my photos off there, and have heard nothing since. That worries me. So, I'll either get a date for the show or get my photos back.

I'm discovering each day how to go on without Dad. The biggest thing that struck me when my stepmom died was that I lost my link to Dad. My stepmom for the most part had been in the background all my life, letting Dad and I forge our relationship. She was quick to set me straight though if she thought I wasn't putting Dad in the forefront while I visited. But recently, well, a couple of weeks ago, I did some stupid facebook quiz and it said the #1 song when I was born was by Benny Hill. She wrote to me on there that Dad loved Benny Hill and thought he was hilarious. I would have never known that bit of trivia had I not taken that quiz. And now, my link is gone.

Don't get me wrong, I loved Toni. Dad was married to her for 28 years, and yes, she sometimes was hard on me and sometimes made me cry. But when Dad would go into the hospital, she always tried to remember to call me before anyone else did. When Dad died, she was beside herself and apologized profusely the next day that she wasn't the one who had called me. And when it was time for the funeral arrangements to be made she included us every step of the way. Us meaning Dad's kids, my 2 brothers and I (Toni had 3 daughters when they met). The funeral was a tribute, and it was amazing. So many people there, so much love that the building should have been bursting at the seams.

Toni passed away 20 something days later, and I couldn't make it back down for her funeral. It's a 15 hour drive each way. I paid tribute in my own way and she will be missed. Even though she's not my link any longer, I will figure something out to keep them both close.