Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Working through

Last Friday, I read several things about Dad that brought tears to my eyes. My blog posts to him. I heard several stories that brought tears to my eyes. I ached to have him back in my life.

Looking back now, I realize that I was pms-ing on Friday. I was vulnerable and emotional.

Most of the time now, I am not in tears. I am not the same as I was before-- that's been pointed out to me many times... but I'm not crying all the time. That's a good step, yeah? For now, though, I think that if I'm pms'ing, or tired, or emotional, the tears are going to flow and I'm going to miss Dad like mad.

I have other times. Times when I'm taking big steps, or assessing them before leaping. And I want my Dad then. My friends keep telling me I have direct connect, and I try... but it's not clicking for me yet. I will get there.

Yesterday, the treadmill went ok. The bicycle went even better. Still moving forward-- in all areas.


TheHappySoul said...

((((((((((((SIS))))))))))))) It takes time to get to that point in your life when the tears turn to smiles. Sometimes, they will still be tears, but you will have the smile on your face while crying. It never really goes away, but you are getting there! Everyday will be a bit easier, and exercising is a wonderful way to cleanse the body of the negatives of the world! As you sweat out those extra calories, imagine all the toxins of the world coming out with the sweat. You'll feel even better!


Rebecca said...

You're getting there... Hooray for moving forward. You have a lot going on right now and seem to be handling it superbly! Keep reaching for your goals, you can accomplish anything you set your mind to!


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