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Thursday, May 13, 2010

My Mental Health Day


Yesterday I took the day off of work. I slept in. I thoroughly enjoyed a lazy cup of coffee. I made the sweet journal pictured above. I went out for lunch, I did a lot of thinking. And I made some decisions.

I decided that even though it has been 3 months today since Dad's death, that I needed to stop standing in my own way. I need to stop worrying about "I should be over this by now" and let it flow. I lost a Dad and a friend rolled into one. Of course I will continue to grieve. I will stop punishing myself for doing so.

The time will come when I have all the good memories and very little of the stinging pain. And when that day comes, I will welcome it with open arms. But for now, I will allow myself to feel the grief, it is absolutely OK to be sad and to miss a wonderful man.

My talk to myself would have been altogether different had my grief been holding me back from being productive, but remember how I was going to fake it til I make it? That is serving me well. I know enough to trudge through the day to day, and even to strive to do more.

So... grieving continues, and that is alright. Tears may come and that's ok too. The other day someone said a joke that sounded just like Dad's jokes and I laughed and laughed. That was a good feeling. It *will* happen again... maybe not today, but it will happen.

5 comments:

Mary said...

Robyn, you are right...the laughter will come and the pain will subside. You're doing a fantastic job and made some great decisions yesterday. Grieving is something that needs to be done if we are going to heal. Tears cleanse. Keeping you in my prayers.

Blessings,
Mary

TheHappySoul said...

YAY Sis! I'm so glad that you are finally allowing the grief to flow naturally. I know it sucks, and it seems endless, but I promise it will get better!

((((((((((((((((SIS))))))))))))))))))

pinkrosesglass said...

Robyn, you are such an inspiration to me. Thank you for being my friend.

Crystal said...

((((((((((ROBYN))))))))))))

Natasha said...

What I love is that you are giving yourself the space to "be" wherever, however, whoever you need to be....that's a beautiful gift. You Dad is proud of you..I know it....

sending many hugs and LOTS of love your way

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