Expect Miracles

In addition to being fierce and tender... 2010 taught me to EXPECT MIRACLES. So many miracles have happened directly to me in 2010. In 2010, I was able to create an online Artist Empowerment Class, and offered it twice, both times to amazing groups of women! I was able to jump into making leather journals, stretching my wings. I got out of a marriage that wasn't a good fit and am creating the perfect life for myself. So many miracles.

I discovered how important an online community of women is in 2010. For me, that is a huge miracle. I've always been a loner, always the strong one. And now, I honestly don't know what I'd do without these women. At some point, I'd love to meet these women, be able to hug them in real life, and honestly, I think that will happen. Perhaps not in 2011. But it will happen.

My brother lost the love of his life, to an unexpected death. I put a shout out to my online community and raised enough money for gifts for his 3 kids for Christmas and for money for the family. What a huge miracle. But it didn't stop there, the tribe all sent gifts to the kids AND Christmas cards were sent to them from around the world.

Through all of this, I have discovered my true calling in life and will have the means and the support to dive in this coming year. What a miracle that is! These are all so huge to me. But there are smaller miracles every moment. I wake up in the morning, have my coffee on my deck, look out to my view and it's a miracle. I live a life that is authentic to me, and will be even more so in 2011.

What miracles have happened to you in 2010?

Thankful

I am doing much better today. I don't think the struggle is quite over, but I didn't have nightmares last night, so I'm claiming that as a victory!

And tonight is a tribe chat... re-filling my well in so many ways. I've known that this struggle was temporary, but when you are in the thick of it, that is hard to remember. Luckily, I have some amazing people in my life to remind me.

Today I'm thankful for a break in the war. I'm thankful for my tribe, my family, my ability to keep my head above water, with and without life supports.

What are you thankful for?

With Help From My Friends

I've written a post before about how important my friends are to me. Yesterday I posted on facebook that I need to have a gathering of my tribe, my girlies... I have some really important things to discuss and there are times the tribe is the only way to move through something, past it, to the other glorious side.

I was telling another friend about it and she was like 'you have a tribe?' I've never used that term before, but it's as good a term as any, doncha think? Most of these women I have never met in real life. And I really don't think it lessens the value of the friendship a bit.

I've met these amazing women on twitter, facebook, etsy. They are the most real people that I know. They are smart, articulate, motivated, thoughtful. Overall amazing :-)

So... I am getting by... with a little help from my friends. And I'd have it no other way!

I NEED Your Help

My brother Tony, as I've shared on here is all of a sudden a single dad. His children are without a mother. Misty passed away unexpectedly at the end of September. She was 31. Tony is hurting in ways he never had imagined. The full extent of the pain has not hit any of them yet.

The children: Marissa, 13. Austin, 12. Vanessa, 10.

This year has been amazingly hard on this family. In February, our dad died, their grandfather. In March, his wife died, their grandmother. And now they've lost their mother.

I am writing this to plea for help. I want to do something for my brother's family, but I can't do it all alone. Let's give these children a good Christmas, despite all their pain. Let's reach out to this family and show them that there is an entire group of people who care about them.

Please help me. The donate button is on the top right column.

Clarity

I went to bed last night full of excitement. I felt closer than ever to realizing my dreams. I received clarity while reading a magazine. I have swept so many of my dreams under the rug because they would be judged adversely by those around me.

However, I now realize that those closest to me would support me fully. The rest simply do not matter. I am around a lot of close minded people in my daily life. I've adapted by hiding my true self. That is no longer acceptable to me. It's time to shine, and it's time to realize all of my dreams!

Change such as this is never easy. And I'll have those crazymakers who try to stall my progress. But on the other end of the spectrum I'll have the ones who truly know me, and I'll have you. I will get there, and I will start today!

Forge Onward

There will always be those crazymakers in life who want to act as a speedbump. People who can't help but spin around and try to draw you in to their crazy. I'm dealing with one such person right now. And though I'm an extremely peaceful person, I will take whatever steps necessary to protect my passions. This is someone not in my life, so I will say what needs to be said, creating the barriers that I need to, and I will move on.

It is much more difficult to do when the crazymaker resides with you. I've dealt with that one as well. All I know for absolute certain is that if you are becoming stronger and don't let them affect you, they will eventually tire and move on. And yes, it's absolutely exhausting. It can definitely be a two steps forward, three steps back kind of situation. Not fun at all. And crazymakers seem to have an ever increasing arsenal to draw from.

When you're dealing with that, it's best to have reinforcements. Even if it's an online group who can "fill your well" when the crazymaker absolutely drains you. Seek the help of others, let someone in, so that you can have the support that you so dearly deserve.

What have been your experiences with crazymakers?

What is Brave?

An online friend yesterday had some issues. Her feelings had been hurt by a group of artists. She felt like she had no support. When I don't feel supported, I withdraw, I curl up, I think of all the reasons I'm not *worthy* of that support. But this friend is brave. She worked up the courage to confront this group.

What is brave? Brave is the artist who takes those blows and keeps on creating. Brave is the mother of a toddler who protects her child at the playground. Brave is the person who stands up to that bully and sees them for what they really are. Brave is someone willing to bare their soul for what they believe in.

I challenge you to do something BRAVE today!

Back to Self Care

I learned yesterday (again!) what an amazing support group I had. I discovered why I was being my own crazymaker... I had done a self-adjustment of the one med I take. Must've thought I was a doctor or something. But that adjustment was BAD. I hit the lowest of lows yesterday and was ready to cut off all ties with those closest to be just so they didn't need to suffer through my moods.

But like I said, I have an amazing support group. I have wonderful people in my life, and together, I think we can kinda do anything!

Looking back on yesterday... I don't think I gave much at all. I took and I took. I don't feel like my well has been filled because I didn't help anyone. Today I will make sure to give the advice when it's asked of me. I will respond to pleas. And I will continue to take my meds, and will now take a B-Complex a couple times a day till I completely bounce back.

Part of our journey, whatever our particular path may be, is to take good care of ourselves so that we have much to give. Sometimes I struggle with that. I don't get enough sleep, I make bad medication choices. I am now re-committing to getting back on that self-care path.

What self-care have you faltered with? How can I help?

Support Group

I have made myself accountable to a few people online and off. I have stated my intentions to them. They encourage when they think they need to. They help me toss around ideas. And they weould all be ok if I just enjoyed taking photos. They would be alright if I kept listing them in my Etsy store. They would be ok if I put them on flickr to share. They would all be alright with all of that if I hadn't told them that I want more.

I push the evelope, I put myself out there, and I always state my intentions to my support group. They support each and every step and they cheer me on.

I guess my point is that your support group can only be supportive as you allow them to be. They can only give you the ideas and answers you are looking for if you ask. If you tell me your significant other is not supportive, I'm likely to ask if you've talked to that person about exactly what you want to accomplish. Have you stated your goals? Have you reasoned it out? Have you *asked* for advice, help, support?

Try it... stick your neck out there, be vulnerable, devise a plan, talk it through... state it to those important to you. I bet they will be a source of inspiration and encouragement.

Sometimes A Lot of Help is Needed

Yesterday, I was feeling no motivation whatsoever. So I decided to hold myself accountable. I was online, on Etsy, talking to my friends. And I decided, I'd state what I was going to do "I'm going to contact this wine bar about hanging my work there", then as soon as I did it, I'd pop back in and report that.

It worked great. I still had no momentum, but I was checking things off my list, one by one. I submitted 4 photos for possible publishing, I sent query letters to a wine bar, a restaurant, a gallery, and a photography-only warehouse show (1 night). And guess what? shortly after I sent my query to the warehouse people, they had a meeting, and I am in!

I will be among about 40 photographers there. Also there will be gallery reps, photographer agents, newspaper reporters.... I'm thrilled and scared at the same time! That's my good news from yesterday... and I wonder what today will bring.

Without support and encouragement from my friends, this opportunity would have passed me by. I love that I have a group of people that I can lean on and always rely on. It's so important in life!

If you have goals... if you have anything you are striving towards, make sure you have your cheering section intact. Fill their wells and they will fill yours!

Giving Thanks

Life is really good these days. I feel like so much is falling into place. Not haphazardly, but after a whole lot of working towards it. It is an awesome feeling when hard work is rewarded. And I feel that it's so important to be thankful when that does happen.

I have an extensive support network. Many don't even realize they are in that web that helps me through. But many do. Family, close friends. They lean on me and I lean on them... together, we are a strong pillar emerging in the world. I am so thankful for each and every one of them.

Their strength adds to my own, and I'm able to be supportive of more people as a result. It's a constantly turning wheel.

I witnessed a friend's art evolving yesterday and saw her sense of self absolutely soar. That is amazing! A couple of days ago, that same friend felt me reach out to her when I needed to be reassured about my decision to do a craft show. She helped me brain storm all the things I'd need to do to prepare and soothed my soul.

My pledge today is that I will not only continue to raise up those around me, but I will also continue to lean on my network for support.

Who are you thankful for today?