Wednesday, November 12, 2008

What's going on with me

About a year and a half ago, I went to my primary care physician for allergies. She did a basic exam on me and found an enlargement in my thyroid. This is how it all began. I had an ultrasound, and was found to have a multi-nodular goiter. Thyroid function is normal, so it was not alarming to me or my doctor.

Fast forward to a couple of months ago. New insurance, new doctor, and they wanted to test everything, so I went in for a complete blood panel. Still, thyroid function is normal. All bloodwork looked fine. But, a referral to an endocrinologist was ordered.

So, October 7, I went to the endocrinologist. He suggested a fine needle biopsy. He stuck 4 needles into the lumps, and told me that there might be some soreness for up to a week. That's when the problems began. I was tough through the biopsy. Nothing to numb my throat, but I made it through.

I cannot begin to describe the pain and discomfort I have felt since that biopsy. There was bruising, and that went away. But after the bruising, came a constant 'lump in my throat' feeling. And an ache that is with me constantly. Many days it's so uncomfortable that I'm in tears.

And here's where the weirdness comes in. A side effect has been difficulty with expressing myself. I've had reiki done on my throat chakra. Still, it is with me constantly. A heaviness and pain in my throat. And at most times, the tears are just around the corner. I'm not a crier, though, so I fight that off. I do not like feeling vulnerable. I do not like weakness... in my self, anyway.

Oh, the endocrinologist sent me an email saying he did not get enough cells to test, but he was not going to worry about it, and he will check it again in 3 months. That was fine, until all the pain. So, I'm going back to see him next Monday. And at times, I think it's all in my head. But, the pain is somewhat dulled with Excedrin... I only take that about every 3rd day though, I don't like taking stuff for pain.

There is a possible thyroidectomy in my future... or perhaps some psychotherapy is in order??? I'm at a loss here. I don't feel like I am myself. And sometimes, I wonder if I will ever return to feeling like myself.


Piggy said...

Thanks for sharing the article, quite a number of my friends / colleagues all ladies who have gotten thyroid as well. Each of them have varied degree of seriousness with this illness. I will pray for you and hope this pain will go away and you will be back to your old self in no time.

God Bless.

Geoff Schutt said...

Dear Robyn,

As much as you don't like taking medications for the pain, you might want to make an exception here.

The pain is obviously distracting you, and perhaps magnifying other "negativity" in your life. I'm not a doctor, of course. But the pain doesn't sound normal at all, and I don't think it's something necessary to endure.

Please be good to yourself, and use WHATEVER you need to get from "here to there."

First step, you need to be able to think straight. That's the pain issue. If you get rid of the pain and still aren't thinking "like yourself," then perhaps talk-therapy might work.

Does this make sense? You generally find the positive in things, at least you have been in recent months, through your many postings, and emails, and Twitter, etc..

You have enormous inner strength, Robyn -- you just need to "get to it." Right now, your way/ your path is being blocked.

Please keep us posted, okay?

Peace and Positive Energy your way, and ALL good thoughts, always.
Geoff & Eleanor

Anonymous said...

First of all, was the biopsy ultrasound-guided?
The pain can be due to the fact that he bumped into the nerve; also if you noticed swelling and tender spot near the place where the needle went in, it could be the sign of blood vessel perforation and subsequent bleeding into the nodule.
Even with normal TSH blood test the careful examination of ultrasound and blood tests for TPO and TG antibodies are necessary to check for chronic autoimmune thyroiditis.
If one of the nodules has increased blood flow, the doppler color imaging umltrasound guiding is necessary in order to avoid aspirating the blood from the vessel and ending up with inadequate specimen. Good luck!!

Robynsart said...

Thank you all for your support... and for the medical advice. I will print it out and ask the endocrinologist about it. No, it was not ultrasound guided... I had wondered about that at the time.

art at teffanys said...

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Melissa said...

Hugs just for you.

~Healing, healing, healing~

Connie said...

I'm so sorry to hear this Robyn. I'm going to send you warm desert love...and make dedications to you in my Yoga practice.

The body is an incredible vessel...don't give up hope...believe you can heal.

Peace & Love.

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