There was a comment left on yesterday's post. About dealing with those who publically cheer you on, yet do all they can to cause you to fail. Ahhhhh, the crazymakers. Crazymakers have come in most every form in my life. I currently have one major one (for a little longer), but have some others ready to hop in and wreak havoc anytime they think my guard is down.
One way of dealing with crazymakers is to cut them out of your life altogether. Not always do-able. So, protection is the key. Don't let them in on your plans. The cheerleader crazy maker, I think would be very effective, because who doesn't want a cheerleader. So you share your achievements, you go to them with each accomplishment. They jump up and down with you, squealing with delight at the amazing turn of events. Then they undermine silently.
So... don't share. All you will be missing out on is some fake squealing and some jumping. Let's say the cheerleader is your little sister. You can't exclude her from your life. Not if you want to remain in the will (ha ha), all kidding aside, you love your little sister and want her in your life. So, tell her if you make a wonderful meal. Tell her about a date, or what your children did (whatever applies here). But protect your dreams and accomplishments. Don't give her reason to show her inner crazy maker. Your relationship does not have to be such a guarded one forever. You will get to where you tell her in no uncertain terms that such behavior will not be tolerated by you.
Until you do, though, you'll want to have protected yourself from them. In the past, I did just that. I had an intense cheerleader crazy maker. And I realized that though this person was jumping up and down with me, squealing with delight, many other areas were being attacked. I began feeling overworked and resentful. And I stopped working on my goals.
At one point, I cut off all ties. That made us both miserable. I didn't feel strong enough to just protect my goals, though, so I cut myself off. That lasted about a week before I was cornered. And I simply said "I don't like who I am around you". Perhaps I could've chosen better. But I'm very non-confrontational and being cornered shocked me. So, she went away very hurt and angry, and I felt guilty. Part of her crazymaking? Perhaps. But they don't always see what they are doing, so I'm sure she really was hurt.
I was able to (a few days later) approach her on my terms, explain what I meant, and start fresh on my terms. I did not want to exclude this person from my life altogether. So I showed her what I felt she was doing, and gave her the option to correct it or not.
And the ball was in her court. We are still friends, by the way.
What do you do to deal with crazymakers?