Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Seek out The Positive

There are many places online I frequent during any given week. I read blogs, I find how-to sites, shopping sites, networking sites. And there are several that I lurk in during my work day.

I have been blessed with a wonderful group of online friends. Much love and encouragement has flowed towards me from that group of people. They are quick to offer support, advice, "shoulders", prayers, concern. And I am very quick to do the same for them. I love my online friends.

You know, I think in any social situation, things will happen, or we'll be around people who are not like minded, who are not encouraging, who are constant complainers, who seem to thrive on drama. I've known my fair share of these in real life, and I quickly recognize the personna online. Whether in real life or on line, these people want the spotlight on them alone. They want conversations to cease and turn towards them. They want to reel you in and make you feel concern, compassion, whatever, towards them. They want you to fill their well, but they don't want to fill anyone else's.

I find the negativity of this "social vampire" type to be completely draining. If I do "read, or listen" to this person, I get sucked in. And some things they say are extremely concerning. But so much has been said that I just don't have the time to filter out what's real.

Negativity. I understand having a little bit of negativity. Sometimes things go wrong. And, face it, not everything in life is just peachy. But if only negativity flows from you, people will stop even trying to fill your well. And we need well-fillers in our life. We need those who will encourage us when we are discouraged. We need those who are willing to listen. I also believe we *need* to be the well-filler at times, for our own emotional well-being.

There was a comment a while back, I believe it was from my friend Kari. Who said if she starts complaining to her mother about her day, her mom says "Now, tell me one thing positive that happened today." And Kari would have to do so before carrying on. I encourage you to do the same. If life seems to be knocking you down, seek out the positive, work hard at finding something good to dwell on. You will find it!


giggles'N' rainbows said...

Robyn, you’ve done it again.
I fight negativity everyday! I am going to try Kari’s mother cure during the next on slot.
Maybe it will turn it off before it brings me down.

designsbykari said...

Love you Girl. Mom is always right you know!

Find the good in everyday even if it can't be found in every situation.

KanYoFuse said...

Great post Robyn. Hummmm.... I don't even need 3 guesses. Kari's Momma is one smart lady. I call "those" people "Energy Vampires". They can drain yours and the groups well bone dry. It does become hard to pick out the truths from the drama and you feel bad for looking at their statements critically and not instantly jumping in to fill the well. My current practice is to recognize a bad situation, but not dwell on it. Learn from it and then focus on the positive and move thru it. My co-worker has a hand made sign in his cube. Optimism Over Pessimism. I love it.

Monika's Gifts Galore said...

Really good avice robyn!

k8elynne said...

Thats awesome! I'll start telling my husband one postive thing when he gets home before I start whinning about the kids!
Thanks Robyn!!

TheHappySoul said...

Oooooh, one of my favorite topics! Sis- you always know what to write about on the exact day I need it!

Totally agree with well-filling...everyone will have days when they need theirs filled, but they must be willing to be the filler once in a while, too. I honestly believe that there is good in everything that happens, no matter what it may be. That good might not even become evident until years afterward, but it WILL. If we practice looking for the good in every situation, we will find that our lives are a much happier place. :0)


PS... Thanks for filling my well when I need it!

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