Friday, June 12, 2009

A letter to Dad

Dear Dad,

I am not sure how to start this, so I'll just jump right in.

I grew up not knowing you. And yes, I was told stories about you, stories that were aimed at turning me away from you. I grew up as a caregiver to a bedridden mother. I grew up as a very obedient grandchild. I grew up.

When I was 16, you asked me to live with you. I was told more stories. I wanted more to be the perfect, appreciative grandchild than the perfect daughter. I had something to prove where I was, so I stayed. I just now, at the age of 37, realize how that must have pained you.

But, at this age, I look back with no regrets. Well, some.... but life, to me, is not about carrying around regret. You and I rediscovered each other a few years ago, and I would not give a moment of that up. I was stubborn and had to fully realize who I was before coming to you. Every second of our lives made us who we are, and as I type this I know just how awesome we are. We traveled a long path to reach each other. And we both realize how amazing and wonderful that path was. Sometimes life is not about the destination, but about the journey that got us there. You and I... we are still on that journey, together.

Yes Dad, I did not have a perfect childhood. But I am thankful for it, because it taught me many things. You did not save me from it because I didn't allow you to. But I think it's amazing that we come to one another as adults. I love you beyond measure... for all that you are, and also for the fact that you gave me that space so I could take care of Mom, and you welcomed me with open arms when I was ready.

To me, you've shown the amazement of a Dad's love. You never held any grudges, or harbored any anger for the choices I made. That means the world to me. It's been a bumpy road, but look where we are! I hold you in my heart continuously and am thankful for every moment.

You have been a perfect father to me. No regrets, Dad. I love you more than words can express.


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